


Calling Upon Nations

by Inter_VersaLoli



Category: Polandball - Fandom, 艦隊これくしょん | Kantai Collection
Genre: Crack, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Sufficient Velocity, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21226022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inter_VersaLoli/pseuds/Inter_VersaLoli
Summary: At a dark hour of the Abyssal War, an attempt is made to call upon the Nations of the World (and not just their ships) for aid. The result was... not quite what they were expecting.





	1. Suddenly, Balls!

It was the year 20XX. The year against the dread Abyss had just reached it's sixth year, and things were not going well.  
  
The Atlantic had since fallen, and the Indian Ocean seemed poised to soon follow suit. The Pacific lanes were still held, but the top brass agreed: If they did not have any strategic breakthroughs in fighting the Abyssals soon, then they were all screwed.  
  
But one research ship had a plan.  
  
"Now, Yuubari, I didn't completely get that hasty explanation you gave me in the office earlier, may I ask-"  
  
"For me to explain again? Sure thing, Admiral!" the research ship chirped, clearly excited beyond nornal at the experiment that was about to be done in the summoning chamber.  
  
"As you well know, WWII battleships weren't the only ones to've been summoned in human form. We've also gotten paper battleships that were planned, but never actually built. We got airships, which are "ships" only in the loosest sense of the word. We've even gotten fictional ships as girls too, and from what we could get from our little Abyssal friend, apparently she and other like her are really embodiments of miscellaneous ports and installations, all over the world..."  
  
"And your point, Yuubari?" the Admiral pressed.  
  
"The point is, Admiral, that all of these esoteric summonings got me thinking: are we truly just limited to summoning mere warships, sir? Sure, they're a formidable force, no doubt, the combined sweat and tears of an entire nation. Or at least their navy. But then I wonder, if these warships are that powerful, then how much more powerful would the personification of entire countries be, Teitoku!? All that history and spiritual belief! That combined physical and intellectual firepower! Teitoku, if this experiment manages to pull of what I hope it's going to pull off, then this whole war could be over already!" she said, her voice steadily increasing until everyone else in the chamber could hear her words.  
  
Adm. Andrews, the American admiral, raised an eyebrow. "Now that's a steep claim to make, Captain Yuubari. How soon do you think you can back up those words?"  
  
"Very soon, I expect, if my calculations are correct." she said, rangefinders fixed on nothing else but the pool in front of her.  
  
And then, the ceremony started. I won't bore you with the details of it, but I will say that it involved an African choir, lots of national flags, and an oversized world map.  
  
The pool started to glow. Slowly at first, then brighter and brighter, until it was like if a dozen flashbangs went off in the middle of the room.  
  
When people began to remove their hands and sleeves from their faces, they couldn't help themselves but stare. For the beings that now floated on the pool were not humanoid in the slightest.  
  
Instead, multiple, roughly basketball-sized spherical shapes floated on the surface of the water, with various colours and markings on them that Goto immediately recognised as the flags of various countries. They also had blank white eyes, apparently.  
  
The sphere that had Netherlands' colours widened his (rather pinkish) eyes, and started looking around frantically.  
  
"_Oh noes_, mein polders has flooded. Clay is all water now." it said. It then pulled out a pot pipe from somewhere, and started smoking it.  
  
"_Nein_, dutch, iz not a case of bad flooding " the ball with the German tricolour, with a very exaggerated German accent. "In fact, iz not anybodies clay that mein recognize." It then suddenly noticed all the other people in the chamber.  
  
"H-Hello?" Yuubari ventured.  
  
Another ball leapt out of the water to greet her back, with such smiley eyes that made several destroyers mutter about how cute they are.  
  
"Hello, me is Poland! And over dere is Netherlands, Germoney, Aus-tralia, and a few falafel I forget namings of."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
It then turned back to Yuubari and the Admirals.  
  
"_Excuse_, what countrey is of you, your shape is very strange?" the talking ball responded.  
  
For the next minute, the whole chamber was dead silent.  
  
" _Hello_? Are you of okay, strange countres?"


	2. Eating Habits

It's been a few days, since Yokosuka's newest residents arrived over here.  
  
A few shipgirls sat in the canteen, sparse on these types of afternoons. _Technically_ on duty, but with no sorties to sortie in, or paperwork to fill.  
  
Kongou was sipping tea and enjoying the cloudless day, the presence of friends, and an exceptional cup of Earl Grey. She really _must _thank Haruna for the brew, her brewing skills have certainly advanced far since she first got used to having hands.  
  
Sitting across was the loud and proud New Jersey. Who was currently _very _distracted, constantly looking from her own cup, to the table after the table next to theirs.  
  
"Something bothering you, Jersey-san?"  
  
The Iowa-class jumped and looked back, as if she'd forgotten that she wasn't alone.  
  
"Oh, um, _yeah_, kind of." she said, scratching her head." You know the new arrivals that were just summoned the other day?"  
  
"You mean those cute little nation-balls?"  
  
"Yeeeeaah... Here's something I don't get: Why _balls_?" she asked, looking back.  
  
On that table, sat Akizuki, Tashkent, Jervis, Lebe, and Libeccio, each having "ball" of their respective countries on their lap.  
  
"Ital, ital…" Italyball said.  
  
"_Aww_, it's so _cute_! Like a an oversized talking meatball!" squealed Libeccio.  
  
"Italien, stop zat!" Germanyball admonished. "We are of _respectable_ European countries, and so we are of speaking in clear, _rational_ language."  
Lebe pinched Germanyball's side.  
  
"Ah! _Frau_ Leberecht Maass, pinching is not proper behavior for ein proud destrooyer of ze Fatherland!"  
  
Pinch.  
  
"_Gah!_"  
  
"Truly, it is a mystery… But then again, we Shipgirls are also quite the enigma, eh?" Kongou was content to conclude, pouring herself a new cup of tea.  
  
*_THUMP_*  
  
"Bu-But I still don't understand… Why are they _balls_, while we're _girls_? What's the _logic_, the rea-AARGH, my brain!"  
  
Jersey clutched her head as it rolled around on the tabletop.  
  
"… Jersey-chan, you dropped your teacup."  
  
*Angrily confused battleship noises*  
  
*Sigh*  
  
MEANWHILE, AT THE DESTROYER'S TABLE…  
  
"Umm, 'zuki, you've given Japan most of your lunch..."  
  
Akizuki blinked, and looked down. Japanball was _stuffed_ with rice and tempura, making it look like a balloon stuffed with flab.  
  
"Ah!"  
  
She stood up, placed Japanball down, then bowed repeatedly to it.  
  
"_Gomennasai!_ I couldn't make myself stop!"  
  
"Is okay, Akizuki-san." Japanball managed to say. It then made a movement that looks almost like a bow, but all it's extra mass made it so that it could only shift a little to the front, and downwards.  
  
"Forget about Japan, what about _you_? You've barely eaten anything. And we're already eating a late lunch. Aren't you starving?" Jervis asked.  
  
Akizuki cheerfully shook her head.  
  
"It's okay! I don't really need _that_ much food, anyways! I need to reserve what we have for the _homeland_, after all." she said, squeezing Japanball like a stuffed toy.  
  
Her stomach then made a deep, rumbling sound. It was the sound that whales made only during their most secret and sacred of magical rites, a song no ordinary humans knew, and only a handful of nonhumans have ever heard.  
  
It was the sound the earth made, when mother Gaia tossed and turned in her sacred Earth-sleep. When the plates moved and the ground shook, and liquid earth came seeping out from below.  
  
It was the sound dread Cthulu made, as it slept deep beneath the impossible city, ready to wake and make all our great works nought.  
  
The other destroyers just looked amongst each other.  
  
Carrying Akizuki, they personally force-fed her one of every item served by the canteen.


	3. It's Balfour Time

Summoning.  
  
Despite some misconceptions, it was not as simple as some priest standing in front of a pool and doing some song and dance. Each Summoning involved over a hundred servicemen and civilians, as well as hundreds of dollars worth of offerings in steel, bauxite and oil for each attempt.  
  
The media were invited, a first. Cameramen were ambling around, setting up tripods or adjusting lights. Smartly-dressed correspondents stood nearby, rehearsing lines or conversing with fellow newscasters.  
  
Admiral Richards, USN, didn't know who exactly gave the go-ahead to let news cameras in, but she was sure whoever signed off on it had never stepped foot on a Shipgirl base in their lives. Considering the _shenanigans_ humanity's last line of defense gets up to on a daily basis, one would think that the higher-ups would do _anything_ to prevent the media from entering.  
  
  
. . .  
  
Actually, that just about explains it. The higher-ups have _no idea_ what goes on in Shipgirl bases, do they?  
  
One could only hope this was one of those few days where none of the several dozen Shipgirls currently stationed here felt like trying out one of their _bright ideas_.  
  
One can _hope_.  
  
Several foreign dignitaries attended this summoning as well. A show of friendship and solidarity between nations. And also, perhaps, a hope that their presence might encourage the spirits of _their_ nations to come forth as well.  
The Admirals in the room wished _extra_ hard for nothing to happen around them.  
  
The summoning began. The same procedure as last time (devised by Cpt. Yuubari of the R&D Division) was used: African choir singing in full force, the flags and banners of countries around the world were unfurling around the perimeter of the room. The only difference being that the "balls" of those countries not yet summoned were highlighted, their flags and insignias placed vanward.  
  
The water started bubbling like the surface of a witch's cauldron.  
  
It continued to boil…  
  
And bubble…  
  
Boil…  
  
Bubble…  
  
The water _flashed_, like a flashbang going off, bright enough to blind anybody looking in it's general direction, and deafen most everyone, if only for a moment.  
  
. . .  
  
And when everyone looked back, the pool now had occupants.  
  
The cameras started clicking.  
  
Just like before, the summoned took the form of multiple spherical beings, with blank yet expressive white eyes, and no mouth. Together, they spoke.  
  
"_Hooray_, we are of modern secular nation-states now! We are finally _free _from shtoopid imperialist pig rule of Franc and Britain!"  
  
At that moment, all Shipgirls in the room from Britannia and L'Hexagone _twitched_.  
  
There were approximately two dozen balls at first glance, a good chunk bearing colours of red, white, black and green, with some blue scattered here and there.  
  
"Oh, _salam_ there, kafir harbi!" one of the balls (all-green, with the _shahada_ and a sword in white) "greeted". "We are of the great and mighty Arab League! What has made of you to come to us? Perhaps you are of sick and tired of your atheist ways and wish to be of the one true faith!? Is okay, the great holy prophet has taught us to welcomes all races!" it preened.  
  
"Oh, joy." droned Ark Royal. Lady Warspite, typically so collected, began to shift uneasily in her wheelchair.  
  
The room erupted in a cacophony. Newscasters were talking into the cameras, cameras handheld and mounted were jostling to get the clearest view, and lights started flashing all around the darkened room, dizzying anyone without the quick sense to look away.  
  
Admiral Cummingham, Royal Navy, resisted the urge to facepalm.  
  
"Should me and the girls throw them all out, sir?" a stately battlecruiser asked, knuckles cracking. "Me and Seydlitz alone could handle them in five minutes."  
  
"No, Invincible. Unnecessarily loud or not, they haven't broken any of our rules and tried to talk to our new summons."  
  
"Ah, I see…"  
  
She stepped back, frowning.  
  
Meanwhile, the summoned balls, who had just exited the pool, were clearly overwhelmed.  
  
"Look, Palestine, we are of _famous_!" Iraq said to it's smaller compatriot.  
  
. . .  
  
The balls then noticed that Palestine had a shadow growing over it, before it was crushed like a bug under a heavy glass brick.  
  
The other countryballs, Shipgirls, Admirals, Diplomats and cameras broadcasting live over the Internet and on international television, all stopped. Slowly, they all turned towards the new arrival.  
This one also had blank white eyes. But instead of being a sphere, this one was a semi-transparent cube. Two blue bands snaking around the cube, above and below it's eyes. And between these blue bands, right between it's eyes, was… a blue Star of David.  
  
Oh dear.  
  
"Shalom."  
  
The Islamic balls gathered together, eyeing this new arrival suspiciously.  
  
"Excuse, what have yuo of done with our good friend Palestine?" asked Syria.  
  
". . ."  
  
. . .  
  
Warspite rapidly stood up from her wheelchair, dropping scepter and orb, and started sprinting window-ward.  
  
"_Nope nope nope_, not dealing with this bullshit, _nooope_."  
  
She ran up the metal steps leading up to the metal catwalk, criss-crossing near the top of the crowded room, and executed a perfect action movie dive through the first window she saw, the glass artfully shattering into a rain of fragments that followed the battleship's descent, whereupon she touched ground in a flawless three-point landing.  
  
She then ran to the edge of the water, executed an impeccable forward group dive, and started swimming towards the horizon.  
  
. . .  
  
Everyone else in the summoning chamber (humans and shipgirls, mostly) watched on.  
  
. . .  
  
And throughout all of this, the news cameras were still rolling.  
  
*_BASH_!*  
  
***BOOM**!*  
  
*_BANG_!*  
  
Right behind them, the sounds of 1948 being reenacted were echoing madly.  
  
*KA**BOOM***  
  
*_ZOOOOOOOOOOM_...*  
  
***RATATATATATATA**-*  
  
Gradually, all the Admirals in the room felt a headache coming along, mocking them for ever thinking that live broadcast in a Shipgirl base would result in anything but humiliation and _pain_.


	4. Arguments

What is a Nation?  
  
Some say it is the might and soul of an entire _people_. A force binding those who would otherwise be strangers _together_, each bringing out the full potential of the people around them, allowing feats unreachable by individuals alone.  
  
Others say it's the xenophobia and tribalism of mankind in it's largest form yet, an institution that denies the common brotherhood-and-sisterhood of mankind in favour of soulless competition and mindless dedication to the dominance of one's own tribe over all others. Such a worldview turns all other peoples into naught but competing Players in some sort of cosmic game, reducing humans to mere blind pawns in vaster entities, discouraged from fully relating to other humans.  
  
Both sides have their points. That being said, such discussions usually assume Nations are intangibles. Things to believe in or rebel against.  
  
As talking balls, all bets are off.  
  
"_Hey! _Stop building settlement on mine al-land, you shitty greedy zionists!" screamed Palestine.  
  
"_Yuor_ land!? You _forfeit_-ed it by not defending it properly, little vey! You _Arabs_ always talk the talk, but can't use modern weapons for _shit_! So, _finders-keepers_, smelly kebabu!" Israel said.  
  
"_Hey_, You don't be going around and being _Anti-Semitic_! Is-rael here has had a _hard lyfe_!" Lithuania added.  
  
"Oh, _cunt off_, ya Balkan midget. The only reason you're with 'em is 'cause he's the only one aside of Poland that remembers ya _exist_, ya puny ex-commie!" Australia said.  
  
Lithuania's eyes started to water. Australia turned to Israel.  
  
"And _you_. I ain't forgot how you tried tha copy me passports to use in _fucking wetwork_, and _your _crying about how tha' world is againt you? Don be fackin' _joking_, you Yahweh _Wankers_!"  
  


* * *

  
While this was going on, Admiral Richardson (USN) _watched_.  
  
She stood, holding a paper cup of coffee in one hand, and a binder full of administrative debris under the other, staring at the ticking time bomb before her.  
  
She's had experience, handling Shipgirls. How could _anyone _be in the Navy since Blood Week and _not_ have seen or met Shipgirls, after all? She knew the warning signs that led (inevitably) to _shenanigans_.  
  
"Uh oh..." said Captain Ishigaki (JMSDF) beside her. Seconds ago, the two had been chatting about their long and varied experiences managing the walking absurdities that were Shipgirls.  
  
Richardson looked left, then right, then looked behind her. Nobody seemed to be doing anything but watch. Some were even recording this on their _phones_! They knew the restriction on cell phone usage in camp!  
The Admiral noted their name patches.  
  
Sighing, she downed her cup, ignoring the protests from her throat as she poured scalding liquid down it like a drain pipe. She flung the cup towards a nearby dumpster, and started pulling out her phone.  
_Fuck_ yuo, NATO _Dipshits!_" said Russia.  
  
"_Jajajajajaja_, icth that all the inzults you can muster, ein Russkie? How iz your _economie_, by the way? Did _communism_ do anything for you?  
  
"_Blyad_! We would still bei respected, if not for dhose Gang of 8 _traitor_s!"  
  
"_Oh_, poor Rossyia! Are yuo ztill moping about ze past?" Germany said.  
  
"Oh _fuck off_ cyka, we fucking _raped_ ye in die War!"  
  
"Oh, ja? But what has youn done since then? Nothing but arms dealing, oppression, and dashcam videos! Though thae last one is ein funny much of the time, I have to give you that!"  
  
"_Grrrrrr..._"  
  
Meanwhile, Russia and Germany's little tiff (which might not have started if Israel and Palestine hadn't started a shouting match), had… _encouraged _other countryballs that _now_ was the time to settle their conflicts once and for all. (Diplomacy _purely _optional)  
  
"Gib back Constantinople!" Greece screamed, his _xiphos _cutting through the air.  
  
Turkey scimitar parried it, before trying to cut Greece in two likewise.  
  
India and Pakistan were just metres away. They stared each other down, both of them flanked by _hundreds _of foot-sized tanks and artillery. They were also holding a suspicious-looking missile each, brandishing them like swords.  
"Indoyia, ifs you forfeit now, then I will of considering to bestow _Allah's mercy_ on you, undeserving though you are, idol-worshipping infidel!"  
  
"_Ha_! Like I would _trust _yuo, you shitty kebab Paki-stan!" he answered, before the two charged each other.  
  
"Gib me back to daddy _Oireland_!" screamed North Ireland, unloading an entire AR-18 magazine in Britain and Ireland's general direction.  
  
The two countryballs ducked. Prone, Ireland raised it's head up.  
  
"Dee _fuck_, Noth Ireland? If you wanna join us so bad, why are bullets comin' towards _us_, too!? Even if Britain releases you, I wouldn't want such an out-of-control lil' shit to be a part o' me!" Ireland said.  
  
North Ireland begun to tear up. "But… B-But..."  
  
The Armalite North Ireland held clattered to the ground, and the little ball started to _spasm_, white flags covered by a red cross popping out of North Ireland's skin at an alarming rate.  
  
"_Holy fleg_, what's happenin' to 'em!?" Ireland asked.  
  
"Why're you asking _me_!? You're the one that shares his stock!" Britain said.  
  
"D'ya think because we both hav 'Ireland' in tha name, we have'a lotta things in common!?"  
  
North Ireland surface grew whiter, and whiter. A red, all-encompassing cross appeared,, and an image of an open red hand appeared between it's eyes.  
  
"_Remov_ Catholic! Ulster _forever Protestant_! _Long leve the Queeen!_" it said, spraying it's SA80 skyward like it was an Afgan wedding.  
  
Meanwhile, pandemonium had set in everywhere else on base. People heard the rampant gunfire just a block or two away, and started running like hell.  
  
"_Holy fuck_, Admiral, get down!"  
  
Hearing the crack of gunfire, Ishigaki pushed Richardson to the ground. Paperwork now scattered on the driveway, they both crawled away as fast as possible.  
  
Shouting was everywhere.  
  
The two officers peeked out from where they hid, behind a nearby dumpster.  
  
". . ."  
  
". . ."  
  
"... My God..."  
  
"Yeah, I know, right?"  
  
"... They might be even more out-of-control than the Destroyers."  
  
Just as he said that, there was a massive explosion, so bright it turned every piece of glass within sight of the epicenter as opaque as a piece of burnt leather.  
  
…  
  
A few seconds passed, before the Admiral decided to speak again.  
  
"You know what? I can't wait until 'Murica arrives. We'll _surely_ be able to communicate with 'em better than those crazy other countries, eh?"  
  
The Captain narrowed his eyes at her.  
  
"... All right, all right. Stupid hope, I know".  
  
Reinforcements finally arrived. They comprised an entire section of human MPs, lead by a few Coast Guard Shipgirls.  
  
Upon seeing the chaos unfolding, the MPs talked among themselves with an invisible language consisting of pointed looks, nods, and vigorous shakings of the head. Finally, it seemed they decided the Shipgirls would take point on this one.  
  
The Shipgirl MPs charged towards the quarrelling countryballs, yelling at them to stop.  
  


* * *

  
**One hour later...**  
  
_Breaking News!  
  
Yokosuka residents going about her morning today were interrupted by the sound of what seemed to be a loud explosion in the distance, in the rough direction of Yokosuka Naval Base. The sound was loud enough that those living as far as Central Tokyo heard some of it.  
  
A few survivors of the old War, in particular, had remarked that they were reminded of the nuclear blasts.  
  
Phone usage briefly surged, as worried citizens called loved ones, or contacted official channels in an effort to figure out the situation. Emergency Services were also put on standby.  
  
The JSDF has recently released an official statement, stating the sound was that of an ammunition dump igniting, due to an electrical fault. The statement then further stated that there were no nearby personeel, hence no casualties were sustained.  
  
USN Vice Admiral Michelle K. Richardson, currently deployed at Fleet Activities Yokosuka, was on record as saying that it was "a goddamn miracle nobody was killed".  
  
Barring that, officials from both the JSDF and USN have refused to comment any further on the matter.  
  
This is the All-Nippon News Network_,_ signing out._  
  


* * *

  
*_SLAM_*  
  
The sound of metal against metal echoed around for a few moments more.  
  
Thrown into separate cells, the balls glared at each other through small glass windows.  
  
"Aww, _cripes_."  
  
"Is of all your fault, Turk, and you knows it!"  
  
Somehow, their arguments went through reinforced steel doors and multi-layered brick walls.  
  
"_My_ fault!? It is not of my al-idea to jump at me with sword!"  
  
"Fuck yuo Indoya, mohammed prophet _best prophet_."  
  
"Will all of you assholes _SHUT UP!_"


	5. They've Got Balls

"_Gods_, why do _I_ have to keep an eye on those things!" Shimakaze moaned. In front of her, Oklahoma was quickly getting a nasty twitch in her right eye. Even for Shipgirl standards, she was already veering well into summary discipline territory. She was getting _that_ annoying.  
  
"Because humans can barely stop them without getting injured in the process. All the other girls in this flotilla _already _had a go at looking after them, so take on some responsibility for once!" Oklahoma said.  
  
"Also, just _imagine _all those onions you'll be chopping once Nagato hears about this." Fubuki added.  
  
This one finally got to the hyperactive boat, who froze, looked, and then finally slammed her teeth together.  
  
"Alright…" she sounded. "... _fine_."  
  
Back stiff, she walked up the Shipgirl tender's drop-down ramp, left her ski boots at the front door, and make her way to the Country Spirits's designated quarters.  
  
She could hear no sounds but the sounds of crew and ocean. The walls seem to be in one piece. And the correct colour. She let out a breath. At least they haven't broken out in a full-on fight _yet_.  
  
And what a relief _that _was (at least, for the moment).  
  
Much like a beautiful honeymoon preceding a marriage full of disappointment and shouting matches, the appearance of the countryballs had appeared to be the ideal outcome, in the desperate gambling game that is the Summoning (despite initial reservations). They were the very _embodiments_of the Nations themselves. Each seemed to pack more power than even the greatest Carriers and Battleships _combined_. Shipgirl or not. Backed up by heavy CAS or not. Heavy missile support or not.  
  
The experts, politicians and assorted keyboard warriors started to proclaim these Country Spirits the "next revolution" of naval warfare, predicting that (just as mundane ships now mostly serve as support for frontline Shipgirls) the Shipgirls that were the tip of the spear today, would eventually be mere fire support for the sheer juggernauts that were the _Balls_.  
  
In her honest opinion, she just thinks they're salty after the Kanmusu stole all the thunder.  
  
And if the Balls were to be the frontline fighters that humanity needed, we might as well make a coin flip to see whether to nuke ourselves to death instead. As it stands, _they_ have as much chance of destroying humanity as the Abyssals do. And when _they'll_ do it, it'll be from stupidity, not overwhelming force.  
  
Humanity gets wiped either way, but at least the former isn't _completely _embarrassing when the alien archaeologists finally arrive. That's what Shimakaze thinks.  
  
They were still the darlings of media outlets around the world, though. In fact, there was a minor political outcry that all the balls were still currently residing in Japan.  
  
But they seemed to know each other the best, so the higher-ups didn't really want to try and separate them. The only beings known who could fight on equal footing with a countryball, is another countryball. If a countryball, alone in it's namesake country, decided that they were well and through with taking orders (and why would they, when _they were_ the countries themselves?), only the equivalent of another World War would be enough to dislodge them again. And who has time for _that_?  
  
Since what many people have now termed the "Nuke Incident", Naval officers and Shipgirls alike wake up each day with a shiver, so long as they're aware that _these things _occupy the same base as them (which in Yokosuka, is practically everyday).  
  
As she entered one of the rooms assigned for the balls, she could hear a conversation in progress.  
  
" - and after that, we'll then claim those islands as part of the _Glorious Empire_!" the United Kingdomball proudly stated, puffing itself up before those last two words.  
  
"Oh, of course you would, you bloody imperialist cunt." Irelandball cut in, with a sneer.  
  
"... Eh, eye wouldn't know, neva' had muchof a Nayvy. I do know about claymores, though." Scotlandball said, hefting a claymore (that anyone but an Olympic weightlifter would have a hard time lifting, and even then, only barely), over it's "shoulder" like a handbag.  
  
"Diese ungainly things? Ein lad, what zo you take the rest of is for, _peasants_ from the 15th century?" Germanyball said, wearing an oil-stained apron and holding a wrench. Right next to him was something that looked like a Tonka-truck-sized Messerschmitt Bf 109.  
  
"Oh hai Shimakazi." Italyball said, turning to her. He was wearing a moustache at the moment.  
  
"It's _Shimakaze_. Shi-ma-_kaze!_" she enunciated.  
  
"Shime-a-kuzi?"  
  
_"Aurgh_! Is that even an Italian accent!? I don't even know anymore!" she screamed, throwing her hands in the air.  
  
The other countryballs didn't notice.  
  
"Ey Shimaazay" Australiaball asked, approaching the Shipgirl. "We've been arguin' for hours and 'ours, but haven't came to _yet. _Mind'ya iff ya gave us yer fine opinion?  
  
Basically, it's _this_, which one's betta', Scotland good ol'-fashioned _claymroe_, or Germaney's fancy Messers, wit' the _aerodynamics_ an' _engineering_ 'n shit."  
  
She looked at Germanyball's little toy-plane-looking-thing. "That's not cutting edge, what're you talking about."  
  
"_What_!? Are you of ein _insulting _das _wunderbar Teutonic Ingenieurwesen!?_"  
  
"No, I'm just tellin' the truth. Those things stopped being produced nearly a century ago."  
  
"... Ah."  
  
Shimakaze placed her hands behind her head.  
  
"Ah _whatever_. I just came here to make sure you dummies weren't killing yourselves. Not that I know you're just arguing about stupid shit, I can get back to my waters. My sweet, sweet, speedy waters…" she said, rapidly walking out of that room.  
  
"... _So_?"  
  
"They were arguing about some stupid shit. Thought a Messerschmitt was "cutting-edge". Got bored and walked out of there." she said, rapidly sailing circles around the Battleship.  
  
"Shim, will you _stop_. You're makin' me dizzy..." Oklahoma asked, rubbing her forehead.  
  
"Oh, _I'm sorry_, is the great Shimakaze too _Fast_ and too _Furious_ for you? You want me to _slow down_, relax, small the flowers,? Maybe brew you a cup of tea and bring in some nice English biscuits while we wait for those _jolly old_ Abyssals to arrive, eh?"  
  


* * *

  
**Meanwhile, back in Yokosuka…**  
  
"Onee-chan, what's wrong?"  
  
"_Ah_, nothing, my dear sister. I merely just felt the urge to strangle a destroyer. Most strange, most strange. More sugar?"  
  


* * *

  
**Meanwhile, in the bridge of the Shipgirl Tender USS Nigiri...**  
  
They were accompanying a flotilla of Shipgirls, currently patrolling somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, on a route between Japan and Hawaii.  
  
He didn't know exactly where they were right now. He bet the Shipgirls know, at least.  
  
Heh. Shipgirls. Almost surreal, how quickly people got used to them. One moment, naval warfare was the domain of _Hard Men, _doing _Hard Things_. Nowadays, it still is that (albeit, mostly at the higher ranks), but supplemented with a healthy helping of magical young woman with strange and wondrous warship-related powers, skating on bullshit technology and acting as adorable front-line forces with their handheld 127mm hand-held guns shredding the enemy, while the people actually on boats try hard to avoid getting the attention of those oily black sea monsters that missiles refuse to hit.  
  
If the great Admirals of old had seen what wonders modern naval combat had shit out, they would've drowned themselves immediately.  
  
Meanwhile, while he was sitting pretty on the bridge, he could hear (if he strained) the faint sound of many soft little things arguing with each other, all high-pitched voices and the occasional out-of-nowhere rubber-ducky squeak.  
  
He sighed. He found himself having… _mixed feelings_, regarding these "Country Balls". On one waterlogged hand, in a war where the price for losing was total extinction, you don't become picky about who fights with you.  
  
On the other hand...  
  
They were _strange_. Most of his buddies would scoff at this, he knew. They'd probably point to all the instances of what many in the service dub "Super Sparkly Shipgirl Bullshit".  
  
But even then, Shipgirls looked (and acted) more-or-less like humans. Well, humans whose skin could bend knives and bleed black oil if they felt like it.  
  
But still, more or less, like humans. And if they bothered, could actually be quite the terrifying presence.  
  
_Those things_, on the other hand, looked more like offensive caricatures than anything even remotely dignified. It made him uneasy.  
  
...  
  
A voice on the bridge rose up.  
  
"_Sir!_ Abyssals over the horizon!"  
  
Everyone tensed up like a drawn bowstring, and started looking over their station's screens, shouting orders, or running off to some other place on the ship.  
  
His ears caught hold of all these, and then, just as quickly, dismissed them all (except for what his training deemed important). There was a blank space in the channel of his mind now, reserved for the captain's orders.  
  
"_Deeeeefeense_!"  
  
The Shipgirls rearranged themselves around their tender, with the tender also moving forwards into the formation, so that it's hull could be fully covered from all sides.  
  
All looked around, for the enemy that was supposed to be near.  
  
"_Over there!_" someone shouted. A force of Abyssals nearly _twice_ the size of the flotilla was dead ahead.  
  
"... _Crap_. We sent out way too few girls on this op." Oklahoma grumbled. She furrowed her brows. Worst comes to worse, they'll have to flee-  
  
And then, everyone heard bagpipes.  
  
Yes, even the crew of the tender, from the people at the bridge, to the engies standing right next to the boilers. Everybody could hear it. Somehow.  
  
From under the ranks of tightly-enclosed Shipgirls, between the legs of one particularly flustered Akatsuki ("Hey!"), came a blue countryball. It skipped over the surface of the water as if hopping on land, as if there was some sort of magical inertia propelling him forward. It was a little smaller than most other balls, but had a lively mood about it.  
  
Playing a jaunty tune on some bagpipes, Scotlandball tossed the instrument away to bring out it's heavy claymore, nearly seven times it's size, towards the first unlucky bastard to catch it's soulless white eyes.  
  
It was a Re-Class. Who looked down, confusedly bemused at the living ball at her feet.  
  
Before being bisected through the middle, her two halves falling apart sideways.  
  
Beside her, a Wo-Class looked like her eyeballs were in danger of dropping into the sea..  
  
Get me _away _from that _thing_! Get me the _fuck _away!" the Wo-class screamed, before she was also horribly bisected, this time at the waist.  
  
Seeing their strongest eviscerated in about two seconds by a piece of 15th-century weaponry, the rest of the Abyssals began to panic.  
  
White splashes, as various I-Class and PT Imps and other assorted Abyssal nasties turned on their little rudders, and sailed away.  
  
Other Abyssals tried to surround the claymore-wielding ball, and fired at once. Scotlandball jumped up just before the shells could hit him, the shells exploding under him.  
  
Propelled into the air by the force of the blast, a tall plume of foamy water following his wake, he took the time to cut through an entire squadron of Abyssal Aircraft while it it was in the air, before descending and cutting the heads off of I-Class destroyers and PT Imps.  
  
"_Scotland_, you spoilsport! Hogging all the glory for yourself, eh? Remember who exactly let you come out on a _fine _expedition such as this!"  
  
United Kingdomball, riding a miniature replica of the HMS Victory, sailed out between two standing Battleships.  
  
Overhead, the roar of a Messerschmitt. Lowering his flight path slightly, Germanyball took out several fighter aircraft, and whole score of destroyers, before looping back around.  
  
Blinking, as if being woken up from a heady dream, Oklahoma shook her head. She turned to the other girls.  
  
"Well?" she shouted. "Are we just gonna stand here like a bunch of balloons!? C'mon, _fire, FIRE!_"  
  
The Shipgirls shook out of their daze. The Destroyers begin targeting the aircraft coming near their charge, while the Carriers scrambled their crews and started lowering their elevators.  
  
Squadrons of fairy-fighters entered the sky, and started blowing all intruding aircraft from their protectorate skies.  
  
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*  
  
*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*  
  
"Fire!"  
  
Even the human crew of the accompanying destroyer couldn't resist. Though missiles had great trouble tracking the main Abyssal naval units, when the bastards' right in the whites of your eyes, a few manually-guided warheads can still put a great big gash on the sides of these monsters, expense or practicality be damned.  
  
And then...  
  
For a moment, all is silence.  
  
"... Do I hear… music?" said one of the destroyer girls. Nobody could remember who afterwards.  
  
UKball opened it's eyes. "Now, it shall begin."  
  
Suddenly, orchestral music. Then, lyrics began pouring in.  
  
_God Save the Queen!  
God save our gracious Queen!  
Long live our noble Queen!  
  
Send her victorious,  
Happy and glorious,  
Long to reign over us:  
  
God save the Queen!  
  
O Lord our God arise,  
Scatter her enemies,  
And make them fall:  
  
Confound their politics,  
Frustrate their knavish tricks,  
On Thee our hopes we fix:  
  
God save us all.  
  
Thy choicest gifts in store,  
On her be pleased to pour;  
Long may she reign:  
  
May she defend our laws,  
And ever give us cause,  
To sing with heart and voice,  
  
God save the Queen!_  
  
The song appeared from nowhere, stayed everywhere, and disappeared into nowhere. It simply _was_, and it's presence heralded the feat that was to come:  
  
Releasing the pure essence of _The Royal Navy_ into this frail, yet ever-changing world, free from mortal constraints.  
  
These days, the Royal Navy is but a shadow of it's former self. Mention of it's name no longer brings fear or anger across the people of the world. It is unable to project power across the oceans as casually as it could in days long past.  
  
However, in this moment, all these things cease to matter, and fall away. At least for a moment.  
  
There was no elaborate flash of light, no showy pyrotechnics or loud explosions. One moment, the sea was as it always was, hostile and beautiful. In the next, the sea around them was filled with hundreds to ships. Full-bodied hulls of steel and iron that cut through the sea in search of the enemy they were built to slay, the enemy that would dare siege their homeland and threaten their citizens.  
  
All around them were _ships_. Heavy ironclads, graceful wooden sails, proud and massive dreadnoughts.  
  
Everywhere, they were surrounded by ships. Big ships, small ships, ships, ships, _ships_.  
  
Their thousand turrets thrummed around their metal joints, their platforms on deck, tracking down the enemy.  
  
Ethereal gunnery crews radioed phantasmal bridge captains. The captains of each vessel approved the planned offensive action.  
  
"_FIRE!_"  
  
*_BAM!_* *_BAM!_* *_BAM!_*  
  
Every ship aimed, and fired, all at once.  
  
The Abyssals, those who were left, stared at the incoming barrage. Just stared. To their left, right, forward and back, they realised that the incoming shells would fall for hundreds of kilometres in all eight directions, and the innumerable degrees between them.  
  
They were screwed.  
  
"… Oh shi-"  
  
*_BOOM!_*  
  
*_BOOM!_*  
  
*_BOOM!_*  
  
The rain of shells hit the water with a series of mighty splashes. So massive were these plumes of water, that observers could only see the beginning of their bodies being torn apart by falling shells, and it's aftermath, with the Abyssal flotilla now a floating puddle of black blood and debris, on the ocean surface.  
  
. . .  
  
As soon as it began, a great white fog began to fall all around them, hiding every last one of the resurrected RN ships from sight, before it lifts, revealing empty waters.  
  
". . ."  
  
". . ."  
  
". . ."  
  
"H-_Holy fuck_-poi! U.K.-san just released his Noble Phantasm-poi!"


	6. New Developments, New Threats

"You mean to say say our forces just got _what_!?"  
  
An shout echoed throughout the obsidian cave, which looked like the dark interior of a whale's mouth.  
  
This was Abyssal territory, far beyond what any Shipgirl or Human had ever gone before.  
  
"Utterly destroyed, Ma'am. With a casualty rate of 99% percent, less than a dozen ships survived in total." the messenger replied, a Ta-Class wearing a pair of reading glasses and holding a binder under her arm.  
  
"How could this _possibly _happen?" the Princess of the East, Abyssal Ruler of the Pacific, said, slamming her fist down onto her chair's crystal armrest. "Even our most _devastating _losses had at least a fourth surviving, even if only by a bare thread… "  
  
"That's not all, ma'am. Our forces were defeated within the span of half-an-hour. The last report we got, our units had surrounded a small patrol flotilla made up of mostly destroyers, with only a single carrier and a battleship on the Shipgirl side, providing support. We outnumbered them two-to-one."  
  
"... Do they have some kind of new weapon? Something we haven't seen before?"  
  
"... Princess, I've seen the brain-box footage. It seems that what we are currently dealing with are… _balls_."  
  
"Balls?"  
  
"Balls."  
  
"Like, you know, _Ball-shaped _balls?"  
  
"Yes, spherical, ball-shaped Balls. That have eyes. And talk. and have the flags of various countries on their surfaces."  
  
"... Show me the footage, then. Also, show in those so-called _survivors_. I ought to give them a tongue-lashing."  
  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
  
Like the legend of the Fisher King, it was said that the realm each Abyssal Princess rules over is, to some extent, an extension of her personality. Proud ones built their abodes high and sharp; while those of a more reserved and calculating nature built their caves deep underground, hidden in the most innocuous-looking of sea caves and coral reefs.  
  
It was also said that the Princess's moods changed the climate of these places. A happy Abyssal Princess is something the underlings would look forward too, as that meant a pleasantly cool breeze and calm currents. But an _enraged _Princess would bring with her icy or flaming wind, and crushing currents. And the worst ones would immolate the entire place in impossible underwater fire for a _really_ bad screw-up.  
  
When the human population started these rumours (which eventually spread to the military, and then the Shipgirl Corps themselves), it was an absolutely false and made-up urban legend. But once the Abyssals got wind of it via their many intelligence channels, they decided the concept idea was so badass that that most of them decided to modify their bases such that their soldiers can _feel_ it, if they were pissed off, or as proud as a peacock crowned king of netherworld.  
  
Hey, even Abyssals can be chuuni too, you know?  
  
In this case, it was causing a deathly piercing wind to blow through this dark and enclosed cave, stabbing into the surviving flotilla's skin like a thousand little pieces of ice shrapnel.  
  
_Absolutely disgusting._ You outnumbered them 2-to-1, and you still had the _gall _to get slaughtered!?" she yelled.  
  
"W-We apologise, Princess, but they were just too strong-"  
  
"_LIES._ I _specifically_ bred you all to be the _absolute peak_ of Abyssal perfection. It is the _primary reason_ why we haven't been defeated yet, while the others weak enough that the traitors were able to take over and destroy them. We are _feared_ throughout the Shipgirl network worldwide! _Now_, I won't be surprised if we end up as the _laughingstock_ of the other Fleets!"  
  
"P-Princess, at least let us tell it from our perspective-"  
  
"_Enough!_ What can _you_ possibly add that hasn't already been shown to me by your weak comrades' last moments!? I won't be so lenient anymore. From now on, I decree!" she shouted, pointing her finger up in the air. "That any survivors of a defeated force of mine shall be _executed _forthwith!"  
  
She lowered her pointer finger until it faced the survivors. At the same time, her cannons adjusted themselves in the direction of her pointing.  
  
"P-Princess, you aren't serious…"  
  
"Oh, I'm not fucking around, weakling, I-"  
  
"_My, my_… Let's not have them go to waste, shall we?" a new, entirely unrecognisable voice echoed through the chamber.  
  
The Princess immediately swiveled her turrets to face this new intruder.  
  
"_Who are you_, and how the _hell_ did you get in here!?" she demanded.  
  
Out of the other end of of the room, stepped in a heavy-cruiser Ri-Class.  
  
But this one didn't just look like any Ri-Class, for it seemed that this had a sense of _fashion_. Strange among Abyssal-kind. She wore a purple ribbon around her waist like an obi without a kimono, and one on her head, tying her raven hair back. Conventional Abyssal clothing was switched out for something looking more human-looking as well, with a pleasant (shudder) yellow sundress in place of the racy ensemble favoured by most Abyssals.  
  
"Ah, allow me to introduce myself. I am called a great many names, but you can call me the _Merry Black Hole_. And I have the solution to _all_ of your problems!"  
  
The Princess merely narrowed her eyes. "So, you overheard our little discussion. What makes you think I won't _annihilate _you where you stand for the impudence of breaking and entering!?"  
  
The new girl seemed barely threatened. "Oh _tut tut tut_..." she said, waving one dainty finger at her. "It's because you _can't _destroy me where I stand, you see?"  
  
*_BOOM_*  
  
Let it not be said that the Eastern Princess was all bluster. She fired all of her cannons at once, at the strange Abyssal.  
  
She smiled, and continued smiling as the shells fell towards her face. At a certain point, she raised a hand, and all the shells came careening into a _miniature black hole_ that had suddenly appeared in the middle of the chamber.  
  
The Eastern Princess quickly stood from her throne.  
  
"... _Hmm_, that wasn't such a good demonstration of my abilities, wasn't it?" the intruder said. She waved a finger in the air, and the black hole narrowed itself and closed up like a zipper.  
  
"Normally, I like to _demonstrate _my skills to clients before they hire me. It lets them have a better idea of what to expect from _moi_." she continued, checking out her nails.  
  
"_Buuut_, if you _really_ don't want me here..."  
  
"... What do you have in mind?" the Princess asked.  
  
The ribboned Cruiser looked over in the direction of the flotilla, and _grinned_. Despite outnumbering her, the survivors couldn't help but feel unnerved.  
  
The Cruiser turned to the Princess of the East. "Are your minions… _disposable_?" she asked.  
  
The Princess mulled it over.  
  
"Well, I _was_ about to scrap them and replace them with never models." At this statement, the survivors all squealed in alarm.  
  
At that moment, the strange Cruiser pulled out two turrets from behind her, and pointed them at the flotilla. Even with two of them, they weren't much. Just a pair of holders holding an utterly normal and unexceptional pair of eight-inch gun mounts, the usual for her kind.  
  
And then she fired.  
  
The shells were just like any other shells fired at them by the Traitors. They fell at the same arc, and at the same speed. Such that the survivor's instincts began to trigger, and they quickly moved out of the way.  
And then she said: "Nope."  
  
Despite their maneuvers, the shells hit them lethally. Every single shell hit a vital part of each, whether it be the tower, the elevator, or the engine itself. The ones who were hit in the engines burst into flames. Some exploded, taking out the others in their vicinity. They were the lucky ones.  
  
The rest died slowly, groaning on the floor. Denied even the honour of sinking into the sea, like proper ships of war.  
  
_It didn't make sense_, they all thought as they died. _Nothing made sense_. She was just some lowly _Cruiser_. How could she kill Re-Classes and Ta-Classes so efficiently, so _easily_?  
  
But… the Princess _did_ remember some gossip she had heard, over the network. Something about certain newly-born Abyssals having developed strange abilities beyond the Abyssal norm, speculatively to be in response to the growing number of overpowered pop-culture Shipgirls being summoned. And them breaking away from the vast majority of Abyssal society, due to their _minds_ also being deviant from the standard hate-filled and destruction-loving Abyssal-kind.  
  
The Princess let this thought stew in her mind for a few seconds, before snapping her fingers.  
  
Ah, I see now!" she said. "Are you one of those Abyssals-for-hire that I've heard so much about?"  
  
"Indeed, ma'am!" Merry replied, holding up her hand in greeting. "_Black Hole _here, at your service!"  
  
…  
  
"... To tell the unvarnished truth, I believe your type are lowly creatures." the Princess said, and she glared at her from across the room.  
  
"Lowly, _disgusting _creatures, who betray the ultimate and valuable cause of the Abyssal Fleet, merely to satisfy your own personal vices! What a _disgrace_. Are you even properly an Abyssal?"  
  
...  
  
"_Sooo_... do you want my help or not?" Merry asked her.  
  
The Princess of the East turned her nose up.  
  
"Be that as it may, I guess I have no other choice than to hire outside help." She lowered her nose at look at Merry B.H. straight on again. "Therefore, I have decided to hire you. Do _not_ disappoint me."  
  
"Ah, I am _glad_ we have finally come to an understanding..." she replied, sweeping her arms and bowing in the European style.  
  
In her mind, though, Merry was _furious_.  
  


* * *

**MEANWHILE...**  
  
A groggy USN Oklahoma was stumbling her way through the halls of the Administrative Building, trying her damndest not to crash through the walls like Jun'you did last week.  
  
She was the type who needed her morning coffee to function, but that apparently wasn't known to command, since an ensign approached her early, and said she had to go see the flagship, _ASAP_.  
  
She asked the sailor if she _really_ needed to do this before breakfast.  
  
He said that was _specifically_ ordered by the Flagship. He also asked Oklahoma to please not kill him, he has a sister.  
  
So, instead, Oklahoma spent the entire time trudging up the stairs focusing all of her ill will towards that heartless Jap Flagship denies innocent babes their much-needed morning caffeine, Flagship Naggy-chan.  
  
She opened the door to the office.  
  
"Ya called for me, Flagship?" Oklahoma said, after the customary bow.  
  
"I have..." Nagato said, slowly and deliberately setting down her teacup with an audible *_clink_*. She then folded up her newspaper. In a very specific way, such that the article she was in the middle of reading would show up in front.  
  
"I wish to talk to you about many things, Captain Oklahoma. Both about your performance in command, as well as your personal performance. But this time, I want to talk to you about a _certain incident_ that caught my eye this morning."  
  
She tossed her the newspaper.  
  
Oklahoma caught it, and her eyes caught the front page.  
  


**HMS VICTORY WITNESSED SAILING OUT OF PORT BY ITSELF, AUTHORITIES ARE DUMBFOUNDED**

  
Oklahoma's mouth opened, and closed, then opened again.  
  
"It had something to do with the Kuni-Kani, didn't it?" Nagato asked. As a command professional with many years of working with both human and Shipgirl subordinates, she was right on the money.  
  
"Would it make ya feel better if we said we didn't order any of them to do that, they kind of just _decided _on that on their own?" Oklahoma asked, scratching the back of her head.  
  
Nagato narrowed her eyes.  
  
"_Hey, hey_, if ya want someone to blame, don't blame me! Those balls were always pretty out-of-control, you know that!" Oklahoma said, her hands in the air.  
  
"As loathe as I am to admit it, you _do _have a point."  
  
Oklahoma sighed.  
  
"_But_, Shipgirls have been known to successfully overpower at least a few of those things. More importantly, why did you not even _try_ to assert your authority over them? From what I've heard, the _whole flotilla_ froze up in apparent disbelief, before you all ordered to open fire."  
  
"I, well… No excuses there…" she said, now finding the lush red carpet to be _far _more interesting.  
  
"I am glad you are willing to take responsibility. You have at least _that _going for you, in this base." she said, her pupils looking slightly to one side.  
  
"Such behaviour is _incredibly unbecoming _for protectors of humanity. But I know you already know that. You, a USN officer, simply went along _went along _with their hare-brained full-frontal attack on the enemy forces, instead of ordering them to regroup immediately and stay within formation."  
  
Oklahoma looked her in the eye.  
  
"Well... the whole enemy was wiped out wasn't it? And all _without_ a _single casualty_. Not even a scratch on _anyone_. So you could say that these balls don't _need _a tighter leash. In fact, I'll hazard a guess that putting these balls under the same disciplinary standards as us will only _decrease _their fighting effectiveness"  
  
_Oklahoma, what are ya doin'!?_" her own subconscious screamed at her like the partner of an out-of-control copper that bursts into mobster's dens, guns flashing like Christmas lights.  
  
_This is stupid. _her mind thought, and within the next second she had already made up her mind.  
  
"Is that an _official statement,_ Officer Oklahoma?" Nagato said.  
  
"_Yes, Ma'am_. I believe these lil' balls ain't as bad as everyone thinks. It just requires the right amount of encouragement and more knowledge about them before we can really keep them out of trouble." she said, slamming a fist on to her open palm.  
  
"Is. _That_. So..." the Flagship of this Shipgirl Fleet sounded out, each word like a stalactite that falls and just narrowly misses you, while treacherously climbing though an Arctic cave.  
  
It was then, that Oklahoma knew she'd fucked up.  
  
"_Very well,_ then!" Nagato said, way too cheerily. "In that case, I'm handing over _complete _control and responsibility for the care and training of the _Kuni kami_."  
  
"E-Excuse me, ma'am? We barely know the _first thing_ about these things! How the hell in the world do you expect me to know how to manage them, let alone _train _them?"  
  
Nagato's expression went from cheery to extremely grim.  
  
"_Captain_ Oklahoma, are you deliberately going against _direct orders_ from a superior?"  
  
She gulped. "Uh, I-"  
  
"Besides…" the flagship said, retracting her grim expression slightly. "No great discovery has been made without _some _sort of experimentation. And didn't you say that these Spirits are '_not as bad as everyone thinks_'. Are you trying to retract your claim, Oklahoma-dan, and admit that you were talking out of the same opening that you defecate out of?"  
  
Oklahoma could hardly find the words to respond. She sighed.  
  
"It's alright, Ma'am, I accept my new assignment. Was merely surprised, is all. When does this assignment start?"  
  
"_Right now_. You'd best hurry, I hear they get _extra_ restless around this time." the Flagship said, with a corner of her mouth subtly turning up. Which Oklahoma could see.  
  
_She's enjoying this. She's really friggin' enjoying this! Flagship Nagato! Enjoying my suffering!_  
  
"You are dismissed."  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
And as Oklahoma closed the door behind her, she added: "Fuckin' weirdo Japs."  
  
"I _heard that_, Captain!"  
  
She started to run.  
  
. . .  
  
A few seconds later, Mutsu (who'd been silently watching this whole time) spoke.  
  
"_Onee-chan_, don't you think you're being too mean to Oklahoma-san?"  
  
Nagato sat silently for a minute or so, as if carefully considering a proper and dignified justification for her behavior earlier, before deciding to throw it out the window.  
  
"Not at all. Americans need to tossed around every now and then, just to remind them that they _don't _rule the world."  
  
"Ah, I see, I see..." Mutsu said. "Well, try not to overdo it, sis, they _are _still our allies, you know."  
  
"And one of them is your fiancee." Nagato replied. "I understand, I understand."


	7. School Balls

_Japanese media had officially dubbed them the _Kuni Kami_. Literally: "Country Spirits", just as the Kanmusu are ship spirits.  
  
Elsewhere, they were dubbed "Flagballs", or "Countryballs".  
  
Reactions varied.  
  
Quite a number of people were bemoaning the fact that they haven't returned as cute girls.  
  
Other people were wary, concerned that the very presence of these "Countryballs" might cause a political conflagration, the likes of which were sorely not needed in this time of international crisis. Others retorted that the antics of the Shipgirls have been around for far longer, and nobody has started declaring war on each other yet.  
  
Yet others see them as spectres of general historical unpleasantness come to life.  
  
Indeed, a few Nationalist Organisations active at the time (including the _Yes, China!_ youth group) accused the JSDF of being _Neo-imperialist_, for "hoarding" the Countryballs of various different countries under it's command.  
  
Japanese Nationalist groups (such as the _Nihon Seinensha_, translated: The "Japan Youth society") defended the JSDF by stating that Japan was most at threat from the Abyssals, thus necessitating this consolidation.  
  
Rarely did anyone state that their current residence, Yokosuka Naval Base, was primarily governed by the United States Navy.  
  
The controversy did not stop. Arguments, and incidents of online attacks and harassment continued until the end of the war._  
  
-Aozachi, Aoba (2035) "Last Days of the Abyss"  
  


* * *

  
**Morning at the Naval Base**  
  
A loud and desperate scream echoed throughout the base's mess hall that day, rattling the bones of everyone there.  
  
"_NOOOOOOOOooooooo…_ !"  
  
"Huh, it's coming from where they keep those Flag Balls..." Shimakaze noted, looking up from her cereal.. ". . . Ah, whatever. It has nothing to do with meee…"  
  


* * *

  
After her eye-catching demonstration, the Merry Black Hole had thereafter played the part of a subservient hiree. A drastic change, but to Merry? Twas the usual. And it would've ended with that, had that _anal cunt_ of a Princess not insulted her so flagrantly.  
  
Inside, she was furious.  
  
_So, _insult_ me, will ya? Call me _scum_, eh? Well, let's see whos on their high horse now, when things quite don't go according to plan._  
  
As a contractor that had a reputation to maintain, she still had to do her job as requested with the utmost efficiency.  
  
But the agreement didn't _exactly _mention _killing_ anybody in particular. Only that she (quote) "find out the true extent of these terrifying new weapons, then _eliminate _them."  
  
So, _sure_, she'll _eliminate_ them... for a while.  
  
And then… the Princess will be _crushed_. And she'll never know who did it.  
  
Laughing to himself, she heard the shouts of various patrolling guards in the area.  
  
"_Oops_." she said, before slipping off into the night silently.  
  
Soon. Very soon. She didn't need to hurry.  
  
It was a beautiful Monday morning. People may be too weary of the upcoming week to see it, but it really was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the clouds were few and perfectly picturesque, and _look_, there's a whole flock of birds flying in perfect V-shaped formation! Never saw anything like that before, huh?  
  
The Akatsuki sisters were walking to school.  
  
When the war began, with humanity facing a literally apocalyptic danger, Natural-Born destroyers and other young-uns were initially drafted to fight the Abyss full-time. But as the war wore on and it was clear that they were going to be in it for the long haul, it was decided by most countries around the world to resume schooling for those who were Natural-Borns. That, or risk an influx of long-lived, super-powerful women without any credible job skills other than fighting.  
  
Even Summoned Shipgirls could get an education, if permission was granted by their Admirals.  
  
Otherwise, the Akatsuki sisters were four perfectly ordinary Japanese schoolgirls.  
  
Ami (Inazuma), Hibiki, and Akatsuki, were waiting just outside the navel base for the last of their number, Aki (Ikazuchi). She was taking an _abnormally _long time getting prepared.  
"Gee, what is little sis _doing_ right now?" Ami fretted.  
  
"Maybe she has realised the error of her unladylike ways, and has decided to spend more than a cursory effort to look nearly as _fabulous_ as me!" Akatsuki said, swishing her hair to-and-fro like she was in a shampoo commercial for pedos.  
  
It was then that Aki approached. She was lugging along, in addition to her regular backpack, a duffel bag large enough to barely fit herself inside.  
  
"Hey, Aki, what's that you got there?"  
  
"Oh, it's umm… for the football club." she nervously said, scratching the back of her head. "They asked me to… _re-pump_ all these balls with air, yeah! Since the air blower thingy at school was broken and all. So-"  
  
"Really? Why didn't you ask for help then?" Ami asked. "That task would've gone by more quickly if you had us help."  
  
"Yes!" Akatsuki said, with a nod. "And Hibiki here is a _total expert_ at blowing up inflatable stuff! You remember the last Base festival, don't you?"  
  
"Um, _yeaaah_, that's right..." Aki said, her eyes slowly going to one side.  
  
"_You know guys_, I have something going on at school so I have to go ahead seeyoula-"  
  
*RUFFLE RUFFLE, RUFFLE RUFFLR*  
  
*POP!*  
  
The duffel bag Aki was holding bulged here and there for a moment, and then the zipper come undone.  
  
*POP!*  
  
It was PolandBall.  
  
"... hallo."  
  
. . .  
  
"... Polen need fresh air to be polen."  
  
. . .  
  
After a few seconds, Ami finally exploded.  
  
"A-_Aki! _What are you doing! A-A-Are you trying to… _sneak_ them out of the base!?"  
  
"So what if I am!?" Aki snapped at her twin.  
  
We could get into some big, _big _trouble if the adults find we've been sneaking them outside the base. Like, _expelled from school_ level trouble! _Nobody's_ supposed to see the Kuni-Kami personally, Aki!"  
  
"And why the hell not?" she shot back. "It's not like they're any secret or something. They were _all over_ the news! And we let even weirder Shipgirls walk around towns by themselves."  
  
"Yes, but they were Shipgirls."  
  
"So?"  
  
Ami opened her mouth, then closed it.  
  
"_Besides_, it won't be showing it to a whole lot of people. Just a few of our classmates. You know how Harry and Jane will _melt_ if they get to touch one of these."  
  
"I…" Inazuma closed her mouth. Or to be more accurate, covered it.  
  
"_Hieee… ?_ Did little Inazuma Ami just imagine Hari-kun being all amazed and cheery and stuff? Hey, hey, Ami-chan, don't kid yourself: You know you like it." Aki said to her.  
  
"Aki, it's not very ladylike to tease your own sister." Akatsuki said, with crossed arms.  
  
"Well, it's a good thing I'm not _trying_ to be ladylike, amirite? Anyway, we've stood around way too long..." Aki said, looking at her phone. "If we all don't hurry, we're gonna be late for school!" she said, dashing right off.  
  
"Huh? _Hey, wait,_ we haven't even agreed to you bringing the countryballs to school yet. How many of them did you bring along anyway!? _Hey! _Come back here!"  
  
"_Ha_! I summon Blue-Eyes White Dragon, you're dead!" the girl said.  
  
The boy casually put down another card, this time with a bolt of lighting printed on it.  
  
"_Nooooooooo_… !"  
  
The boy had messy black hair, while the girl had russet, ahoge-prone hair. Two _gaijin_ children in a sea of Japanese elementary school children.  
  
The boy's name was Harry, and the girl's was Calamity Jane. The "Calamity" part was self-chosen. Harry was Flagship Nagato's adopted son. She found him being abused horribly by his relatives while in a chance encounter in Surrey, England. Jane was the daughter of an American expat, married to a Japanese woman.  
  
These children were important, because they also happened to be friends of the Akatsuki sisters. Who, as you might see from earlier, were currently up to _shenanigans_.  
  
_Hey guys_, there's something _really cool_ I'm waitin' to show ya'..." Aki said, appearing behind the Harry and Jane, and putting her hands on their shoulders.  
  
"_Holy shit_ Aki, you nearly fucking _killed_ me with fright!" Jane said, holding her shoulder like a piece of dry ice had landed on her bare skin.  
  
"C'mon girl, there's no need for an overreaction." Aki said.  
  
"All right, all right, sorry… But you know how jumpy I can be!" Jane retorted.  
  
"So what're _they_?" asked Harry, looking over the duffel bag curiously. From time to time, _something_ inside would be jostling and stretching the fabric of the bag, earning Aki a few curious looks.  
  
"Only a bunch of cool balls that the military has always kept it's eye on… _until now_!" she said, putting the duffel bag on her lap and embracing it to hide it from wandering eyes.  
  
Slowly undoing the zipper, Aki held out a hand over the bag's opening, and caught a ball that appeared to try _jumping_ out of the bag.  
  
"Kurwa."  
  
Turning the bag slightly and removing her hand, Aki revealed to Harry and Jane what that swearing ball actually was. It's top half was red, it's bottom half was white, and it had featureless white eyes that were surprisingly expressive nonetheless.  
  
"... cześć."  
  
"... I still don't get it. What're those things, and why are they so special?" Harry said, his brows furrowed in thought.  
  
Jane gasped. "You mean _you don't know_ about the _Countryballs_? The world's newest _supernatural sensation _since the Shipgirls!?" she said, both hands on her cheeks, which were puffed out like a squirrel.  
  
"Eh, I don't really follow the news much…" he shrugged. "Mommy says not to have the having the TV and computer on all day, as it uses up electricity. So I don't use them at all except when schoolwork needs it, since I don't want to be a burden on her."  
  
The others just stared at him.  
  
They sat closely in a circle, surrounding the Balls on all sides to block any prying eyes.  
  
"That is _so coool..._" Jane cooed, poking PolandBall in the cheek.  
  
"N-No, poking is not of cool..." it complained, as Jane's finger squished it like a soft toy.  
  
"Oh, but you _are_..." she giggled.  
  
"... You know, for a supposed tomboy, you sure do giggle a lot." Harry commented.  
  
"Oh, shut up!"  
  
"You know, how did you even manage to sneak these guys out of the base?" Harry asked. "You say they're supposed to be highly valuable and protected weapons against the Abyssals? Kinda hard to believe they'd just let them out like a sailor on leave..."  
  
"Well, they allow people like Kongou to go on leave, so I don't see why not these cute lil' fellows." Jane said, now moving on to squishing FranceBall, who was far less annoyed then PolandBall.  
  
"_Honhonhon_, I am of being touched by a beau magnifique madammoiselle!" it preened. Jane blushed deeply.  
  
"Umm..."  
  
Aki was being glared at by Ami, who had a look on her face that not many people knew she was even capable of. Slowly, she turned to Jane and Harry  
  
"They weren't allowed out of the base in the first place. Aki _snuck_ them out."  
  
"_Whoa_, really!?" Jane exclaimed, more impressed than mortified at Aki's blatant breaking of military regulation.  
  
"Yeah..." Aki slowly admitted.  
  
"How the hell did ya pull _that_ off, I'd like to know. I once saw a documentary about it once, where they showed how the _Kuni Kami _are stored in _highly-secure _top-secret bunkers-"  
  
"_Pfft_\- hahahahahahahah!"  
  
Aki laughed so hard, her chair tipped over backwards.  
  
"S-Sis! Are you alright?" Akatsuki asked.  
  
"_Totes_ fine, sis." Aki said, standing up. "But seriously though, top-secret bunkers? High security? They let us destroyers play with the guys every lunchtime at the mess hall!"  
  
"... And plenty of other times as well, admittedly." Hibiki added.  
  
"Not to mention, but people like Aoba and Kiyoshimo keep breaking into the so regularly, sailors there have set their watches to the shouting when the base MPs find them holed up in there. Aoba's been aiming to do a public expose on the Countryballs due to all the secrecy the Admirals were pulling around these guys. Kiyoshimo… Kiyoshimo somehow got it into her head that making them into dumplings and eating them would transform her into a battleship or something. _Fuck_, don't look at me like that, I don't know how her mind works..." Aki said.  
  
"Still though… be careful." Harry told Aki.  
  
And then, the class doorknob turned.  
  
"_Ah!_ The teacher's coming!"  
  
"_Hey,_ hide, _hide_."  
  
Aki quickly swept all the balls off her table with her arm, earning her many "_Heys!_" and a few stronger words that would give Tenryuu a heart attack if she knew that her children knew them. They fell into Aki's duffel, perched and wide-open beside her table. Once all were inside, she quickly zipped it shut.  
  
She then took out a roll of duct tape, and wrapped it around the duffel.  
  


* * *

  
**A FEW HOURS LATER**  
  
And so, Math, Geography, Physics, and some some more Math passed them by. Same old, same old.  
  
And not once did her Aki's bag stir. She felt almost smug at how well the balls behaved. Ami was _overreacting_, after all They wouldn't go out-of-control and cause trouble. They're too _cute_ and _badass_ to do that.  
She forgot that the Taffy 3 were both of these as well.  
  
Meanwhile, the countryballs were _bored_.  
  
As it turned out, keeping a bunch of hyperactive spirit-beings, some with long-standing animosity against each other, within a confined space… doesn't work.  
  
To their credit, they _did_ listen to Aki's little speech just before she snuck them along, so they knew how badly the humans would react when they found out they were out-of-the-base.  
  
_Buuut…_  
  
They were still bored. Bored, and restless. The Countryballs's average size was the midpoint between a tennis ball, and a football (not the weird American version). That means you can pack a whole lot of countryballs inside a decently-sized duffel bag, if nothing else was inside.  
  
. . .  
  
That doesn't mean they were comfortable, though.  
  
_Hey_, you are of bump into me, cyka! Apologiz!  
  
_Waht!?_ I believe it is _you_ who try and do it to _moi_. Yuo should be the one apologiding to me!  
  
_Scheisse_! All of yuo, keep ict down, ors we will all be of cought!" Germanyball said.  
  
"Oh _screw yuo_, no fun Germoney!"  
  
"_Ya!_ You are of alwayts going around, asking us to pay denbts when we are is in _wartime_! You are of so _inconsiderate_ for such an ordnung orderly ball!"  
  
"Yeah, stop being such a spoilsport, Germany"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"What _ishc_ all that have to do with this situateon ? We are of danger of being found out and getting the yong sisters into trouble & yuo are all of bringing up old grievances!"  
  
"Screw yuo, me don't like bein'squished in bagg."  
  
"Well then, _maybe_ you shouldn't have agreed to come along, ya nitwit."  
  
Finally, a lightbulb painfully shot out of the top of Polandball, and lit up.  
  
"& why are of you asking us to keepe quiet, Germany? Aren't yuo always wantings all of us to follow the rules? For _ordnung?_ Then why you even come along in the bagge, ifz it is _against the rules?_"  
  
…  
  
. . .  
  
A small rumble was heard.  
  
". . . Germoney?"  
  
[ERROR ERROR CANNOT COMPUTE FATAL SYSTEM ERROR]  
  
[SUDDEN UNEXPECTED ORDNUNG DEVIATION FOUND!]  
  
[FATAL ERROR! MASS HYPOCRISY! SENSE AREAS OF MIND RAPIDLY SHUTTING DOWN.]  
  
. . .  
  
Russiaball sighed.  
  
"_Okay_, that is of _it_! I is f had _enough_ of being in dis _stupid motherfucking bag, in this _stupid _motherfucking _school! I is of _tired_ of it all!. I is of breaking out, who is of with me!"  
  
"Oh, I, I do, Rosja!"  
  
"Oh fuck yuo Belarus, awais kissing up to to Rossyia's thick, smelly ass."  
  
"Well, _fuck yuo too!_"  
  
*SQUUEEZZZZEE*  
  
"H-Hey, guys, stop! we've barely enough space inside here as it is! Any more, and yer gonna burs-"  
  
"BLARGEBLIGERIWEHZIHUICIHIOEFCENHE"  
  
***KABOOM**!*  
  


* * *

  
**AFTER THE LESSON...**  
  
"_Whew_, glad nothing blew up..." Ikazuchi said, wiping sweat off her brow, entirely unaware of how she was tempting fate. She reached over to her school bag, tore off the tape, and opened it.  
  
"Hey guys, are you alri-"  
  
***KABOOM**!*  
  
The countryballs _exploded_ out of her bag like grape-shot from Blackbeard's cannon. The countryballs slammed into the ceiling, and then bounced around the room.  
"_Ooooh._"  
  
"_Look!_"  
  
"Oh _shit_, everyone's seen them already!" Aki shouted. She spotted a classmate at the other end of the room, trying to take phone footage of the bouncing balls. She ran over in a second, and slammed his phone-hand into the tabletop.  
  
The balls bounced around the room a dozen more times, before exiting the classroom through varying means. Some of them went out the doors. Others went crashing out of the windows like hooligans.  
  
"Aki-chan! _Language!_" Ami said, running up to her.  
  
"Ikazuchi, don't you know it's _very_ unladylike to swear?" Akatsuki added, sliding in right behind her.  
  
"Do you think I really give a fuck!? We have'tha catch 'em all before the Admiral completely busts our asses! And even worse, _Mommy Tenryuu_!"  
  
All four sisters _gasped_.  
  
Mommy Tenryuu is an excellent mother, and one that her daughters (Natural-born and not) would gladly give up the world for. And vice-versa.  
  
That still doesn't make her any less bloody scary when she's mad. Usually when the sisters fuck up somehow. Like, when Aki got into a fistfight at school over Pokemon. Or when Hibiki tried to sneak 3 whole bottles of vodka into the house while mom's away on an expedition. Or Akatsuki fibbing about her grades.  
  
_That's_ when _The Beast _really comes out. Not even Abyssals have seen this side of her, and she was _killing_ them!  
  
Hibiki mechanically spread her legs out, and started doing leg pumps. Internally she told her fairy crew, hardened and seasoned by cold Russian winter, and hellishly hot Pacific, to put her engines into _**Full Overdrive. No Compromises.**_  
Every single fairy in her saluted simultaneously.  
  
Grabbing Ami and Jane, she then took a running jump of the window.  
  
"Hibiki, hey what are you doin-A_AAAAAAAAHH_!"  
  
The rest of them looked out the window, and then looked at each other.  
  
*_CRAAASSH_!*  
  
"What the- _hey_, what the hell are you, what are you- _AAAAAH!_"  
  
"... Hey, that came from the Science Lab!" Harry said.  
  
"And _that_ sounds like Mr. Moricha, mad and bad as always…" Aki daid, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"Oh c'mon, Aki, he's not _that _bad." Harry stated. "He's a good teacher!"  
  
"And _you'd _say that, Mr. _Honour Student Gaijin_." Aki said.  
  
"_Police_! There's some crazy ball with a gun holed up in the Science Lab!" shouted another voice.  
  
At this point, Akatsuki grabbed Aki by the ear, and pulled her out of the classroom, and in the direction of the Science Lab.  
  
"_Owowow_, what the hell was that for, Akatsuki?" Aki demanded, rubbing her ear.  
  
"Well, _you_ were the one who started this whole mess, so you'll have to help with getting them all back into that bag again." the purplette explained, pointing at the duffel bag that Aki had inadvertently dragged with her when she was pulled out.  
  
Aki opened her mouth. She looked into Akatsuki's eyes, then snapped her mouth shut.  
  
"Y'know, I guess you _are_ right." she conceded, sweat dripping down the side of her face. "I guess I really do need to take responsibility."  
  
Akatsuki nodded, and smiled.  
  
"Though why is _he_ here, though?" Aki demanded, pointing a thumb over her shoulder at Harry.  
  
"Well, I didn't _ask_ him to come along." said Akatsuki.  
  
"Well, actually…" he rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I was hoping I could _help_, somehow?"  
  
"_Help_?" Aki said, as much to him as it was to herself, as if it were a foreign concept that needed some extra swishing around the mouth before she decided if she liked it or not. "This is a _Countryball_ we're talking about here. They're not something normal humans can contend with fairly. If you tried to tangle with one, they're turn you into freshly-grilled human steak!"  
  
"But still… if there's _anything_ I can do to help…"  
  
He was clearly not backing down, Aki could see. She didn't quite know what drove him, and frankly, that didn't matter right now.  
  
She sighed. "Alright, just follow right behind us and listen to everything we say. _Got it_?"  
  
He nodded.  
  


* * *

  
**A FEW SECONDS LATER…**  
  
The three of them, two Shipgirls and one boy, were crouching beneath the Science Lab's window.  
  
"Alright, so how on earth do we do this?" asked Aki. "Run in and fill that bastard with holes?"  
  
"Aki, there are _hostages_ inside." Akatsuki hissed.  
  
"Ah, right. That. Sorry." Aki sighed. "Who the hell takes over the Science Lab, honestly? I mean, it's basically the most boring-ass place in this already boring-ass school."  
  
Akatsuki risked peeking through the window above them, then immediately ducked back down.  
  
"A red countryball with something like three domey things squashed together into one thing at the centre!" she said.  
  
Chancing a look herself, Aki ducked back down when the countryball inside was about to look in her direction.  
  
"_Democratic Kampuchea_. So that must be Cambodia, with a serious case of the reds." she explained to the other two of them.  
  
Aki then put a hand to her chin, as an idea popped into her mind.  
  
"_Hey_, Harry. You said you wanted to _help_, right? _Well_, I have a plan. _You'll_ have a starring role."  
  
Meanwhile, on the Ami and Hibiki front, the two of them were running straight for the school's football field (for American readers: soccer field). They spotted U. from their classroom floor, with the _entire school football team_ gathered in front of him like it was some kind of college lecture.  
  
When Hibiki jumped out of the window, she landed on a small awning. She then hopped from one awning to another like she was Mario, then jumped from an awning of a window facing the front square, to the school flagpole. She slid down like the tiniest firefighter you ever saw, weighed down by a screaming mass of two passengers holding on for dear life.  
  
Once on ground level, they dashed immediately in the direction of the football field, ignoring the stares they got.  
  
**A FEW MINUTES LATER...**  
  
"Playing like a pro is no mighty ordeal lads, all you have to do, is learn how to _kick_ properly."  
  
"... But UK-san, you have no feet" one of the players said, pointing at him.  
  
"_Young man_, haven't your parents taught you that pointing at people is _incredibly_ rude!? _My God_, and I thought the Japanese were supposed to be the most _well-mannered_ people in the lands of the Orient! _Of course_ I have _feet_. How else would I be able to move around?"  
  
As he was saying this, the countryball was preparing to to kick a football from the centre of the field, to the goal.  
  
"Alright, and _here I go_!"  
  
UKball gave a hopping start, and hit the ball with his lower body. The ball shot like a bullet from the centre of the field, it's line of movement almost perfectly straight.  
  
It hit the net, causing the netting to _explode_ outwards.  
  
The football team had all their jaws wide-open. Not a sound came out.  
  
"And _that's_ how you do it, laddies!" UKball proudly said. "It's quite simple, as you can see. The mite funny thing is, I'm not even the best at footies. The ol' Kraut could beat me _sideways _on the field any day of the weak. Probably a form of compensation for all their war losses."  
  
A running Inazuma then snatched him.  
  
"I'm so sorry, but _please _pretend the last fifteen minutes never happened!" she said over her shoulder, while racing off the field.  
  
"Aww_ man…_"  
  
"What's the big deal!?"  
  
"The younger years are such spoilsports…"  
  
. . .  
  
While they were groaning, the club soon noticed a very pressing problem that they'd have to explain to the coach, eventually.  
  
Umm, guys? How are we going to explain the busted goal? _Guys!?_"  
  
"_AaAaAaAaAHHH_! Please don't _kill_ me…!" sobbed one student, who had a gun currently being waved at her face.  
  
The gun was wielded by a bloody-red countryball with a yellow stylised representation of Angkor Wat (with rounded spires, for some reason) in the centre, between it's pissed-off eyes.  
  
"yuo glasses scholars are of the reason for communitzen's great downfall! Are of of pay, you intellectual boruise!"  
  
"H-Hey, I'm not even, I _barely_ pass my tests, man! Just failed one last week! I'm one of the lowest in my class, the hell are you targeting _me_ for!?" he sobbed.  
  
*_SLAM_*  
  
Aki, Akatsuki, and Harry stepped into the room. As they entered, Democratic KampucheaBall turned around.  
  
He saw Harry. In particular, he saw Harry along with his big, round, horn-rimmed Countryball then proceeded to go _completely nuts_, and charged at Harry.  
  
*_WHAM_*  
  
Aki fell over it with the duffel bag, while it was distracted.  
  
While Aki was busy tying up the sack as quick as possible, Akatsuki stepped into the classroom.  
  
"Is everybody okay? None of you need to go to the nurse's office, do you?"  
  
"Forget the nurse's office!" Aki shouted. "Who needs a _hospital_?"  
  
A flurry of relieved _no's_ were heard.  
  
"It doesn't seem like it, young ladies..." Mr. Moricha said, putting on spectacles that have dropped on the floor. As soon as he put them on, his eyes widened in shock.  
  
"Ms. Matsuda?"  
  
"No time to talk now, teach..." Aki said, fostering the bag over her shoulder, it's contents still squirming. "Just try and forget the last fifteen minutes ever happened. Trust me, it'll save your sanity later on."  
  
At his questioning look, Aki said just one thing. "Shipgirl issues."  
  
"Ah… _Wait_, that doesn't explain everything!"  
  
But the three kids already left.  
  
"_Ohdearmeohdearmeohdearme_, where could they _possibly_ be next?" Ami moaned.  
  
Hibiki took a few experimental sniffs. "An odd smell seems to be coming from… the Home Econ room."  
  
"Hieee!?"  
  


* * *

  
**MEANWHILE…**  
  
"Honhonhonhonhonhon..."  
  
"Uh… dude? Teach? Are you sure that's such a good ides?"  
  
"_Nonsense._ Is of excellent, _high-class_ idea! Yuo of see, class, tou can perhaps please the palate for the day while cooking ur usual teriyakis, and konbinis, and miso soups, but when yuo are of explore all the possibilities that the culinary world has of to offer, then you can please a man's palatte for a _lifetime_."  
  
And then the oven chimed, indicating a finished product.  
  
Cheerfully humming a showtune of some sort, FranceBall hopped over and opened it up.  
  
Smoke poured out from the oven.  
  
Everyone coughed and screamed as the smoke filled most of the room, with several students trying desperately to crawl for the windows, only to fail halfway.  
  
"_What?_ Yuo are all of _overreacting_, class! Is simply a _new_ and _unique_ scent that yuo are all of noses are too _unrefined _to fully appreciate in all of it's compelexities!"  
  
The door slammed open.  
  
"France-san, get in the bag, and _nobody gets hurt_." Hibiki intoned.  
  
An adult came in right behind them, looking like she'd just been thrown in the garbage dump.  
  
"_Hey_, that's _my_ class your stealing, you imposter!"  
  
FranceBall only narrowed it's eyes.  
  
"_Ha!_ And yuo think that just because I am of France, I can be willing to _surrenduar_ to easily!? HonHonhon, I have of left that past _far _behind moi!"  
  
And with that, he produced two kitchen cleavers from somewhere, and threw them at the sisters.  
  
"Look out!"  
  
Ami pushed the dumped teacher out of the way of one spinning cleaver, which embedded itself several inches into the wall behind them.  
  
"_Oh my God_, I could have been hit by that!"  
  
The teacher went running and screaming from the room.  
  
Hibiki deflected the other flying, spinning cleaver, then picked it out of the air as it was falling to the ground. She pointed it towards FranceBall.  
  
"Honhonhonhon… You forget… that Europe's borders were once myne to re-draw!"  
  
The ball chef charged her with spear made out of fancy dining forks. Hibiki didn't move.  
  
"Sis!"  
  
The spears broke upon hitting her torso. Her uniform was pierced and scuffed, but her skin was unbroken.  
  
She grabbed Franceball.  
  
"You forget, _foolish ball_, that I am a proud _destroyer_ of two mighty countries. And destroying is what I shall do to you now, little friend." she said, in a voice that made all people in the room shiver.  
  
"Hon, dat may be true, but while yuo may be of a _ship_, madamoiselle, I am of an entire _country_!"  
  
Miniature artillery pieces appeared all around them, appearing on the counter-tops, the floor, and window sills. They were Gribeauvals, Hibiki could see, and they were all rotating to face _her_.  
  
"Nao, face of the artillery that made the foes of Napoleon tremble in terror!"  
  
*_KABOOM_!*  
  
*_BOOM_!*  
  
*_BOOM_!*  
  
Hibiki quickly let go of FranceBall, and jumped back.  
  
"Honhonhon! So yuo have finally realizyour of inferiority to the great frace! Nuo moore is _I _of the one retreating, nao it is of y-"  
  
*_KABOOM_*  
  
. . .  
  
Once the smoke from the artillery shells faded away, there was only FranceBall, lying unconscious in the middle of a crater.  
  
"You know, there _is _a reason why artillery is only used when an enemy is _far away_." Hibiki blandly stated. Calmly collecting the knocked-out Franceball, she and her sister quickly exited the room.  
  
. . .  
  
Along the ruins of the wrecked Home Economics room, one student dared to dip his finger into the grey goo that was in the oven. He put it in his mouth.  
  
". . . Hey guys, it's actually really good! You have to try it!"  
  
"_Ewww_!"  
  
Chairs got thrown at him.  
  
"Oh God. _OhGodOhGodOhGod_. We're all gonna be grounded, if this nonsense keeps up."  
  
"Well _maybe_ if you _hadn't brought them to school_ like you should've had, then _maybe_ they wouldn't be out and causing havoc all over school right now!" Ami said, in a rare tone of exasperation.  
  
"Not just school." Hibiki added, as deadpan as a cooking pan that hasn't been used for a decade. "Classmates' social media is abuzz with the local konbini and grocery being ransacked by them."  
  
"Oh _shit_."  
  
"Aki, _I told you_ why didn't you listen to me when _I told you this was going to happen!_"  
  
"Girls, girls, please stop." Akatsuki asked them, as they all ran. "Can we _please _just focus on getting all those balls back!?"  
  
Jane's phone made a little sound in her pocket, and she pulled it out.  
  
"Oh hey, it's big bro!"  
  
Jane looked more closely at the screen.  
  
"He says he just saw some weird ball-thing hop past him and enter the classroom right next to his." she said.  
  
The rest of them looked at each other.  
  


* * *

  
"Here, here!" PolandBall proudly stated. "I is of know Niemcy iz _here_." it said, leaning towards a certain classroom at the school's top floor.  
  
"... You sure about this?" Aki asked.  
  
"Is of yes! The smell of Anchluss of _very_ distinctive!" PolanBall cheerfully replied.  
  
The sisters barged into the classroom.  
  
"_Alright_, GermanyBall, it's time to get back in the bloody bag!" Aki said, pulling a real-life Rage Face.  
  
. . .  
  
GermanyBall was on top of the desk of student near the front, handling a calculator and pencil. He was carefully sketching out an equation on a piece of paper for the higher-year student.  
  
"Ein dis ich how you do this step of das equation. _Remember_, always of roundings the second value zuerst. Remember ein metaphor I showed yuo, ich like arranging coins adding ein contact to ur contact list."  
  
"_Oh my god_, I never thought of it that way..." the student said, and then immediately moved to hug GermanyBall like a plush dolly. "You're the best teacher ever, little flag-bubble thing!"  
"Eich is not a 'flag-bobble'. Ich name is Detushland! Now pls letting go of me, ich is nacht appropriate behaviour of ein student to ein teacher."  
  
"_Aww_, even the way you feebly protest is _so cuuute..._"  
  
. . .  
  
"Huh? Hei, Germoni is not of Anchluss!" PolandBall exclaimed in disbelief.  
  
"*_Sigh_*, how mani times do ich have to tell u Polen, most of de time I is of nacht Anchlussing _anyone_. I only slip into Anchluss mode sometimes, when ich very annoyed." GermanyBall relied, turning towards them.  
"... Liek when some ball no pay denbts?" PolandBall guessed.  
  
"_Ja_. Now what ich it yuo want, Frau _Akatsuki_?"  
  
"Why are you tutoring the higher-years?" Akatsuki asked, eyebrow raised.  
  
"Ich of believe zat if I waz to hab free reign of this ein fine institution of edukation, ein might as weil usen tha opportunity to help somme students in their studies, no? After all, education is of important!" Germanyball proudly stated.  
Aki opened her duffel bag and held it out towards him.  
  
"Well, we're glad you're not doing something like sticking pencils up their butts, but if you stay out here, people are gonna _talk_, and I won't get grounded because of something like this." she said.  
GermanyBall looked into the bag, and sighed.  
  
"Well, eich appears ein have little choice. But iz was gut."  
  
The countryball turned towards the students in the classroom.  
  
"_Goodbye_, ein class!"  
  
And with that, he got into the bag.  
  
As the Akatsuki sister moved to leave the room, the whole rest of the class stood up.  
  
"Goodbye teacher Germoney!" they all said, in unison.  
  
"Auf Wiedersehen, main students..." GermanyBall said, popping halfway out of the bag. He shed a single tear. "Eich grow up so fast..."  
  
"Overdramatec Allemange..." France groused, right next to him.  
  


* * *

  
**MORE MINUTES LATER…**  
  
They were outside the school, evading detection by going over the school fence at the parking lot, rather than risk running through the front gate.  
  
Hurry! They're ransacking the konbini _and _the _supermarket_!"  
  
When they ran into the convenience store, it was like a twister had torn through the premises. Products were flung off shelves and littered the floor. Drink caps and tabs came undone, turning the floor into a wet, sticky mess. The hot-water and heating machines were smashed and blown-out.  
  
And the balls were there, filling up a sack with food and treats.  
  
"Hey there! Stop!"  
  
In response, SomaliaBall pulled out an RPG-7, and blew a hole in the _konbini_'s opposite wall.

  
*_KA-BOOM!_*  
  
The balls then hopped through and disappeared through the panicking crowd.  
  
"_Quick_, after them!"  
  
They went through the konbini store, carefully hopping from the doorway to the collapsed aisle on one side, running over the floor filled with ruined snack food and sticky drinks.  
  
After going through the ruined konbini, Aki, Ami, Hibiki and Akatsuki ran through a ruined hair salon, a destroyed sushi shop, a wrecked pachinko parlour, and a totaled cram school classroom.  
  
The still-escaped balls, numbering somewhere just over a dozen, were still just short of their reach. They all jumped on top of a steel-and-glass railing, turned towards the sisters, and let out raspberries as they fell backwards into the crowd the floor below.  
  
The sisters all ran like hell downwards, bumping through masses of shoppers and busy escalators, until they reached ground level, and then out into the street.  
  
Huffing and puffing, the sisters ran down the length of the crowded. They ignored the noise, the heat, and the exclamations of the passers-bys as they pushed past, eyes focused on looking for _those last goddamn balls_.  
Finally, they stopped right next to the local train station. They looked up, down, and all around them. No balls.  
  
The rest of the country spirits were gone.  
  
_Gone_.  
  
After a brief silence, Aki spoke up.  
  
"Oh god. We are _screwed_."  
  
Six children. An entire city of over 400,000.  
  
"We are so, _so _**screwed**..."


	8. Grounded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, I know. It's been nearly an eternity since my last update.
> 
> And you know, I almost considered abandoning this Fic in favour of starting a new one, like so many other Fanfiction-neers. After all, that's what everybody does, right?
> 
> But then I look at all the other Dead Fics, and I think to myself "They're actually pretty sad, isn't it?". Characters with hopes and dreams, whose struggles never get to conclude, whose reward never comes.
> 
> I take pride in my work (or at least, I try to take pride in my work). And so, this story continues.

*_clack_* *_clack_* *_clack_*  
  
Went Ryoko's hard-soled shoes.  
  
"Do you have _any idea_ of how much you're all in trouble, young ladies?" Ryoko "Tenryuu" Matsuda told her daughters, who were all currently seated in severe _seiza_.  
  
"And don't try to move from that spot, even when nobody's looking. Because believe me, _I'd know_."  
  
She left the room, and closed the door.  
  
. . .   
  


* * *

  
How in the world would their mom knew if they moved from their seats? The sisters didn't know, but decided not to risk it. Who knows what kind of strange mom-powers could be wielded by their mother, that they haven't seen yet?  
  
…  
  
. . .  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"_Ugh_! I'm so _bored_!"  
  
"Well, don't go whining about it in front of _us_, Aki. You said it yourself, you _were_ the one who got us into this mess." Akatsuki said, eyeing her to the side while facing forward.  
  
"Yeah, but mom's also _right_. Why didn't _you_ just try and stop me instead of following my every move! I thought you girls were better than this... " Aki said.  
  
She was glared at by the rest of her sisters, all looking at her with contempt.  
  
"Are you seriously... " Akatsuki ground out.  
  
"Trying to blame _us_?" Hibiki intoned.  
  
"For _your _fuckup!" they all yelled.  
  
Aki put her hands up defensively.  
  
"Okay, _okay_, so I fucked up big time. I admit it. Hey, could you please stop staring at me like that?" she asked, sweat running down the side of her face.  
  
Her sisters did not stop glaring menacingly at her.  
  
…  
  
… … …  
  
Suddenly, footsteps. Then, the door creaked, as it opened.  
  
It was Admiral Goto.  
  
"_Ah_, Admiral!" Aki cried out, her eyes enlarging and filling with tears of hope.  
  
"Yes, _afternoon_, Ami, Aki, Hibiki, Akatsuki…" Go to said greeted, nodding in turn to each sister.  
  
"_Goodness_, Sir, what brings you to this humble barracks of ours?" asked Akatsuki.  
  
"_Well_, I heard that your mother booked all of you into this base on a weekend, then she herself promptly booked out by herself. Was just wondering what was up with that."  
  
"Oh, _umm_, did mommy say anything else about why we were here?" Ami asked.  
  
"_Nope_. She just said, it was _for disciplinary purposes_, and then she threatened to do very horrible things to anyone who decided to help let them out. When I got word of that, a few alarm bells came ringing off in my head. I came up here to see if you girls are alright." he said.  
  
…  
  
Aki thought deeply, then spoke up.  
  
"_Hey Admiral_, you're _way_ higher-ranking than mom, right?" Goto nodded. "Then it's _perfect_. You you give an order, then it'll _definitely_ override mom's, am I right? Am I right, _huh_, Admiral?" Aki said, constantly vibrating as a result of bouncing up and down from her seiza position extremely fast.  
  
"… _No_, I can't. Sorry."  
  
The moment the word _No_ reached her little ears, Aki's face twisted and contorted, it's many impossible wrinkles sending a single unmistakable message to the admiral, despite it's grotesqueness.  
  
_Are you fucking kidding me, Teitoku??  
  
_"Wait, _what_? But you're the _Admiral_." Aki said.  
  
"Yes, well, but Tenryuu is your _mother_. And in regards in raising her children, the parent is the highest-ranking officer. Even a Navy Admiral like myself can't override _that _kind of authority.  
  
That, and… you know, I'm a hardened Naval Officer and all, ready to give my life for my country, ready to face all the dangers of being a commanding officer and thus a high-priority target of the enemy… But I mean, I still _want_ to live.  
  
. . .  
  
And personally, between an angry Tenryuu with a sword, and a fully-armed Re-Class, I'd rather take my chances with the Re-Class. At least the latter is more predictable."  
  
Nervously, the Admiral glanced to his left, then his right.  
  
"Say, girls, did you happen to know at which time your mother left?" he asked, all the while nervously tugging at his own white collar.  
  
Aki narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
"Mommy left nearly an hour ago, _Teitoku_…" Hibiki replied. "She said that she'll _know_ if anyone of us left, and that she'll hunt down and stab whoever helped us do that."  
  
"Hibiki!" Aki shouted.  
  
"What?" she asked replied. "It's the truth. And you don't want Teitoku to be _stabbed_, do you?"  
  
At that point, Goto's face went as white as a ghost's. standing solidly straight, he performed a perfect about-face and started running like hell out of the room.  
  
"You are a _useless Admiral!_ A **_useless. Admiral._**" Aki shouted after him.  
  
. . .  
  
"_Hey_, who's the one calling the Admiral useless worthless around here!?" Akatsuki told her, incensed. "You better watch and make sure what you're saying even makes _sense_, Akatsuki! Teitoku at least does his duty and doesn't cause any trouble for others, unlike _certain other destroyers_."  
  
"_Oh_? Are you talking about _yourself_, then? Because everyone knows that incident where you downed a whole lot of that stupidly strong coffee, then started seducing the Admiral!"  
  
"_Why you little-_"  
  
Akatsuki rearing her head back, and was just about about to have it smack into her idiot of a sister. Ladylikeness be damned. And after that, there almost certainly would have been a fistfight, if not for another person to come in.  
  
The door _creaked_ as she came in. It was Aoba.  
  
"Ehm, _don't mind me_, I'm just passing through and getting one of my things…" she said, trying to go through the entire room as quickly as possible, while avoiding getting roped into a conversation with the Akatsuki sisters.  
  
"... Aoba, _help_, you're our only hope!" Aki shouted from her place on the floor. "Child abuse! Child abuse! Our mom is forcing us to to sit in this painful goddamn hellish position for the _entire day_. I repeat, sitting like this, numbing our toes and feet and legs, for the **_entire. Day._** Aren't you enraged by this? Maybe enough that you'd put it as the front-page headline article about some of the Shipgirls behaving badly. C'mon, this has _got_ to be way juicier than all those times you pictured a Shipgirl on a drunken rampage after being let into a civilian bar. Those types of stories are already getting kind of old-hat, don't you think? Huh? _Aobaaa?_" Aki pleaded.  
  
Aoba blinked. She looked at her newly-retrieved camera, and then at the sisters, and then at her camera.  
  
"Sorry, kiddos, but I don't want to be horribly murdered in my sleep."  
  
She then walked _very quickly_ out of that room.   
  


* * *

  
Aki was depressed.  
  
Her sisters were now resolutely ignoring her. Akatsuki was even deliberately turning her nose away from from her this time. That can't be very comfortable.  
  
And then, they heard it.  
  
*_CLOP*  
  
_It was a very distinct sound, which one could hardly mistake for anything else.  
  
*_CLOP* *CLOP* *CLOP_*  
  
The sound of horse hooves.  
  
*_CLOP* *CLOP* *CLOP_* *_CLOP_*  
  
"… Does anybody anyone hear that?" Akatsuki asked.  
  
"That's freaky. What the hell-"  
  
*BBAAAAARRSHH!!*  
  
Then, like the Kool-Aid man, a really big countryball burst through the side of of their house with a lance and a killer eye-smile.  
  
(An eye-smile is like a regular smile, but made with the eyes. You can do it at home, too! Just lift up the bottom skin of your eyelids until the shape of your eyes visible resembles a waxing crescent moon with its pointy ends pointed downwards. For a mouth, that shape indicates despair, disbelief, depression and potential suicide in the future. But for a pair of _eyes_, this particular forme represents the utmost in joy, happiness, joy, joy, and sincerity!  
  
Now back to the show.)  
  
Blinking, Aki turned and saw who had broken through the wall of their bunk.  
  
It was PolandBall.  
  
It was PolandBall wearing a steel helmet with two wing-like protrusions jutting out of the back and curving over and to the front, and riding on top of a glorious-looking white horse.  
  
"_Hussah! _Pozdrowienia, I am of great Vinged Hussar of teh great Polish Kingdom! I am to _thrust through_ and _destroy_ any threat to the great kingdom! _Hussah!_ the Countryball said, while waving around a cute little lance.  
  
…  
  
After a few minutes, the Akatsuki sisters looked at each other, then looked at the CountryBall, then each other.  
  
...  
  
"Hey." Aki said. The CountryBall spun about on his perch to face her.  
  
"_Poland_, right? Mind tellin' us why you're here why you just knock down one of our bunk doors like a one-ball SWAT team?"  
  
The countryBall blinked, before flapping his feathers behind him.  
  
"_Ah_, being of course! As yuo of all know, several of more trouble-making Countres are of running around and making themselves of _very_ annoying and of disgracing the themselves in the process."  
  
To which the Akatsuki sisters nodded. For the second time this evening, Ami glared at Aki.  
  
"& so your ship comrades have banded together and went together to beat up smelly Rossiya and his stupid kebab friends. Iz being kept very secret, by the way."  
  
"Secret? Why are they keeping this secret?" Akatsuki Aki asked, eyebrow raised. "The fact that there are horrific sea monsters wandering the world's oceans that want to kill all humans, and which launch attacks on coastal settlements and shipping on a daily basis is fair game for civilians to know, but not this?"  
  
Hibiki tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"It's not so nonsensical. Think of it from the Admiral's point of view, sister." Hibiki said." The Abyssals, while certainly terrifying, the average person can at least be reassured that an equally powerful force, the Shipgirls, are protecting them and have their best interests in mind. But in this case, the attacking force is none other than the ones that people _thought _would help defend them. In this case, the _Countryballs_. Is it not so crazy to try and keep this a secret from the populace at large? What if the police force started shooting random people on the street for fun?" At Hibiki's words, the rest of the girl's faces paled.  
  
Polandball, on the other hand, simply nodded.  
  
"But they your elder shippes have not done so goode…" the CountryBall says. "All the Battleshipps and Carriers and other big ships that aren't fighting the Abyss are fightin' my fellow Countryballs. And they are of getting their behinds kicked so hard yuo could see it from space. Let me of show you…"  
  
Gingerly reaching behind him with his lance, he carefully thrust here and there before he finally _aha_'ed, and pulled out a television hanging from a piece of rope with a loop, which was currently looped around Poland's Hussar lance.  
  
_*BSSHT* *BSSHT* *BSSHT*  
  
_The television was filled with anxious static for a little while, and then some coherent video finally appeared.  
  
They first heard the whirr of helicopter blades. The scene image on the screen was that of a high overhead shot of an urban area with several areas in smoke, clearly taken from the inside while the door was dangerously wide open. From one side, one could almost see a person hold on for dear life.  
  
"Good afternoon! This is _breaking news_, straight from the urban centre of Yokosuka, where an _attack_ of some kind seemed to have happened.  
  
The JSDF are currently tight-lipped on the issue, and witnesses have reported seeing has sent only the _Kanmusu _to deal with this mysterious attacker. Naturally, the rumours have come flying out thick! Is it an Abyssal attack, so far away from the shoreline? Some kind of _Kanmusu _experiment gone horribly wrong!?  
  
The JSDF has expressly forbidden any media to enter the evacuated area for the time being, and has explicitly forbidden the media any news outlet to attempt to find out what is going on down there, or the exact nature of the beings the Shipgirls have been sent in to contain. However, speculations have grown rampant over the last few weeks days, and _we_ have been sent to give you the latest scoop, _straight from the source_!" the news woman said, completely nonplussed that her news agency were breaking several laws by her crew's presence alone.  
  
...  
  
"Is this a live broadcast?" asked Hibiki.  
  
"Y-Y-Yes! They even started streaming it on _Youtube_." Akatsuki said, holding her phone up for the rest of her sisters to see.  
  
"... Man, all the adults are gonna have a _fit _once this is all over." Aki said.  
  
"And the only one that can offe avert this disaster, is _yuo sisters_." said Polandball, it's voice grave.  
  
"_Us_? What can _we_ do that the Battleships and Carriers _can't_!?" Akatsuki asked.  
  
"Actually… not as of much, actually…" Polandball admitted. "Butt since a few of us have gone a little rogue, none of the others in de base are of willing of listen to us. In fact, they are of starting to have _locked up_ us in our own roomes already!"   
  
"No surprise why." Hibiki said.   
  
"They do not of know that all that is needed to pacify dees unruly countreys is just to press der buttons a little and then put a sack ovar them when they're distracted!" Polandball claimed. "There is no need for loud explosions and lots of gunfire when the method to calm them is simple if a little unorthodox. But *_sigh_*, they are your people are such typical military. First thing you do when encountering enemy is use bollet on head. And if bollet no work, then use explosive bomb on head! And they think they are _such_ geniuses…"   
  
*_SLAP!_*   
  
Polandball's head-slash-ball-body started ringing, and he shook himself to find a red hand mark on one side of his cheek, and a very rather incensed-looking Hibiki glaring at him.   
  
"Polandball-san…" she said.   
  
Polandball gulped.   
  
"I have much appreciated the information you have deigned to deliver to us. I may even symphatise with the danger brought upon you by deciding to send to information to us.   
  
...   
  
_However…_"   
  
The whole room around them seemed to darken considerably. Hibiki's eyes seemed to have developed an unnerving scarlet red hue, and what appeared to be _horns made out of shrapnel_ seemed to _grow_ out of the top of her head.   
  
She grabbed Polandball by the front armour, and hoisted him above her with little apparent effort.   
  
"You do not _ever, _**_ever_** insult my brothers and sisters. Both ones in shared blood as are well as those in shed blood. Fools though some of them might be, they are _my_ fools. And I was taught _never _to speak ill of kin."   
  
She narrowed her eyes, and stared straight through Polandball's _soul_.   
  
"So, if you continue to degenerate them, then I won't care whether you're fighting the greatest good or were sent by God or whatever. I am going to f̢̼̭͈̱̞͎e̦͍̮͇a̯s̱̬͟t̨̰͉̮̗̜̩ ̠͍̯̪̕ͅo̼̙͎̺̟n҉͚ ̤̠̞̰̫̭̳͢y̻̺͔̭̞͞o̶͍̮̮͙̹̣̯u͎̖͉̯̗̗r̫̮̻͍ͅ ̪̦̱so̯̳̩̹u̺͇l̨̥͈̺ ̪͝f̼̻̗l͇e̱s̻̖̳̬̠͈̦h̴̻͖̪.͓̞"   
  
She dropped him.   
  
Suddenly, in Poland, there was a sudden wave of uneasiness that spread throughout the whole populace. A sudden chill of doom that might await for some unspecified transgression against a certain someone, of which they had not a clue who.   
  
Meanwhile, her sisters just gaped.   
  
"Man… Hibiki can be _scary_ if she wants to be…" Aki said.   
  
"B-B-But, still!" the teeny ball waved about, nonexistant hands waving about wildly. "You're still the only ones we've got that _might_ be willing to try those methods that aren't _throw shells at them until they're dead gone given up_. Besides, I _know_ you can do it. After all, weren't you the ones who helped stuff those balls back in the bag back then! With barely any help, even!"   
  
When Polandball mentioned that, Aki put a considering hand on her chin.   
  
"_Yeah…. _You know what, I think you're _right_." Aki snapped her tiny fingers.   
  
"Aki, please tell me you'll be sensible and nothing not something completely stupid like I think you're about to do…" Ami said.   
  
"_Nonono_ Ami, _think_ about it!" Aki said, waving her hand. "The adults can't even completely get the balls from getting out-of-hand, even after doin' things like locking them up and such. But _they_ listened to us during the first few hours of us bringing them to school. They stayed in that damned duffel for more than an _hour_, Aki, an _hour_."   
  
To which Ami raised raised a finger, and opened her mouth, when she was met with Aki's outstretched hand.   
  
"Now just wait just a second sis, lemme hear me out first. Yeah, I know we might've blown the pooch and gotten em' loose, but we _were_ able to convince a good chunk of 'em to get back in the bag! And those we couldn't convince, we could beat or trick into going back inside. So _there_!" she said, proudly crossing her arms.   
  
…   
  
"What about those country balls we lost back in the mall-"   
  
"_Oh alright_. You know what? _Fine_! I admit it: I screwed the pooch, I took a great big _piss_ in the swimming pool...-"   
  
"_Ewww_…" Akatsuki said, wrinkling her nose like it was meant to be until it looked like an airplane.   
  
"But _you know what_? I'm a _destroyer_, a total wrecking ball of the seas. It's in the job description. And I just can't stand idly by while some meanholes are wreaking havoc in _my country_…"   
  
. . .   
  
"Wow, Aki, I didn't know you were so such a patriot…" Akatsuki said.   
  
Ami, on the other hand, just narrowed her eyes at her. "What makes proof do you have that this isn't some kind of trick ploy to get us go along with another hare-brained scheme of yours?" she asked.   
  
Aki's face went from annoyed, to saddened, to thoughtful. For a few seconds, she looked at the floor in thought, before locking eyes with her sisters.   
  
"... Sis, I admit, I have _no idea _how to prove that sort of thing to you. To show you that I'm being completely sincere about this or not. I can't promise you that it won't end in complete disaster and us getting grounded _even harder_. But I _can_ tell you, I'm ain't gonna _force _you to go along with my plans now."   
  
Grunting, she shifted her seiza position so that she faced Ami head-on.   
  
"Sis. Akatsuki. Hibiki. Last time, I was an arrogant prick that thought nothing could _possibly_ go wrong with whatever I was doing. I was cocky. And arrogant. And an asshole. And I'm sorry." she said, bowing down deeply.   
  
She then rose to look Ami in the eye again.   
  
"But I can't promise that I'll be totally a good girl and just sit inside this room. If the Battleships and the Carriers are out there fighting against this thing, I'd feel like a cad if all I did was to just sit here like a bunch of civvies in a bunker. The job of a Destroyer is to _escort _those bigger girls! If they get wrecked while we're I'm still sitting around here, then I'll never sleep again!" she turned to Akatsuki and Hibiki.   
  
"And don't tell me you girls don't feel the same way."   
  
…   
  
The two sisters girls she addressed were silent. They had a considering look on their face.   
  
Ami, meanwhile, was quietly fuming.   
  
…   
  
"You… You _You idiot sister_!" Ami exploded.   
  
Aki blinked.   
  
"If we just let you go without us, then mommy will likely just blame us again for not trying to stop you if we could! Don't just think that you can do whatever crazy thing you want without _us_ feeling the after-effects!" Ami continued.   
  
"Yes. Please think about the consequences, sister." added Hibiki.   
  
"... Hallo? Has yuo have made a decision yet?" asked PolandBall.   
  
"Just wait just a minute PolandBall-san. Just let me smack some sense into my idiot of a sister." Ami said, before glaring at Aki.   
  
Aki took a few steps back, away from her suddenly scary sister, before she raised her arms placatingly.   
  
"_Okay_, okay… What about a compromise?" Aki offered.   
  
"A _compromise_?"   
  
"_Ahuh_."   
  
"Do you even know what a compromise _means_, sis?" she asked.   
  
"Hey, hey, I'm not _stupid_, ya know!" Aki huffed. "_Compromise_ is when two people don't really agree with each other, but instead of arguing and getting into a whole big fight over it instead they work out a new solution that _both _of them can agree with..."   
  
"Okay, I understand… But are you really going to commit to this, Aki?" Ami her twin sister asked.   
  
"What? Of course I will! What kind of untrustworthy troublemaker do you all think I am, anyway?" Aki asked of them.   
  
The rest of them just glared back at her.   
  
"... Yes, yes, I see perfectly well…" Aki said, nervously tugging at her collar.   
  
. . .   
  
"_Look_, why don't we just let Polandball take us and then we can have a little look at the situation. If it looks way too hot to handle, then we go back, and pretend we never even left the room. Deal?" Aki said.   
  
. . .   
  
Heavily, Ami sighed.   
  
"I _still_ don't think this is a good idea, but since you might go it alone anyway, I guess I might as well go with you to keep you from killing yourself, at least."   
  
"_Yes_!" Aki cheered, fist-pumping on the spot.   
  
"Somehow, I feel like I've agreed to something horrible and will regret it forever after..." Ami said, her voice drained of energy.   
  
Meanwhile, Aki hooked her arm over the side of the horse, and leapt unto on top of it, behind PolandBall.   
  
The rest of the sisters then climbed on, one-by-one. Aki and Akatsuki were unsure, constantly looking to their left and right, as well as being clamping _very_ tightly unto the equine's flanks. Hibiki, meanwhile, climbed to the very back. She was absolutely calm.   
  
…   
  
"_Alright_, and here are of _gooo!_"   
  
The great white steed reared backwards, the weight of three destroyers and a Countryball on it's back, and charged forward. Towards the wall.   
  
"Wait, _what!?_"   
  
Clinging to each other, the Akatsuki destroyer sisters screamed.   
  
The horse lowered it's muzzle, and burst out through the side of the destroyer bunks.   
  


* * *

  
*_CLOP* *CLOP* *CLOP_* *_CLOP_*   
  
They were _flying_.   
  
*_CLOP* *CLOP* *CLOP_*   
  
They were _flying _through the air...   
  
I mean, don't get me them wrong, people flew through the air all the time. The Shipgirls stationed in Yokosuka, at least, each have at least one international flight to their name. Albeit, for many of them, that time was spent passed-out in the passenger's seat.   
  
Of course, there was _quite_ a difference between riding on a military cargo plane, and riding on the back of a glorious magical white steed that could who could somehow gallop over thin air.   
  
The more expansive view, for instance.   
  
The Akatsuki sisters _gaped _as they looked at the city, spread out in a carpet below them. Tiny points of light were many, and were moving about under the sisters like so many shining ants, or perhaps a clan of fireflies.   
  
There was only one thing Aki could do now.   
  
"_Wohoooooo!!_"

**Author's Note:**

> As you might have gathered from the tags, this is a work I've already posted on Fanfiction.net and the Sufficien Velocity forums (both great sites, for entirely different reasons). I'll be slowly porting over the rest of the work, so just sit tight and wait.


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